What happened to the days of brief and interesting messages with a question or two? This is a real message I received this morning on OkCupid. It makes me miss the days of complaining about a message that only contained ;-) or said "hello".
The message...
1.) I recently read The Bell Jar, which has had a peculiar influence on how I approached writing.
2.) Have you begun learning sitar yet? I was interested in learning guitar for only a few songs, most of them George Harrison tunes, and from what I remember he seemed to be interested in that instrument also. I have trouble isolating my interests.
3.) Donatello is the best ninja turtle.
4.) What was the earliest production (in your life) that you acted in? If you don't remember/are unsure, what had the biggest impact on you? What impressed you into wanting to act? Or was it just always a part of you, no discovery needed?
5.) Are you a tennis elitist?
6.) What inspired the founding of your organization?
7.) Sort of related to 4, what was it that brought you to theater specifically? I'm a film actor, and I'm soon to be auditioning for my first musical. Hoping to branch out a bit, get some synergy going.
8.) Did you finish Firefly yet? Are you a sci-fi geek, Whedon fangirl? What brought it on?
9.) TELL ME HOW TO BE HAPPY?
10.) I didn't notice the crepes thing the first time I read your profile. Sweet.
11.) Are you a hopeless romantic or am I just taking a weird subtext from the films you chose?
12.) Lafayette > Eric > Bill > Sam > Jason. Your ranking of the True Blood boys is important to me, especially if you're throwing out reckless TMNT favoritism like that ;P
13.) I was hired as an angel for a Gaga show in Milwaukee. Does this make me cool? I think it does. I wish I had a better picture of me in costume :(
14.) Have you seen Hedwig and the Angry Inch?
15.) I skipped over this last time because I had to correct you in regard to whom the best and coolest Ninja Turtle is, but I was once the Red Power Ranger when I wanted to be the Green, so, I feel that pain.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Why Tropical Bars Do Not Equal Dating Success
Almost a year later… single. I’ve given up on trying to date. Trying seems ridiculous. I’ve been so focused on my non-profit, and it’s doing truly marvelous. My social life is not where I’d like it to be. It is what it is. Honestly, I just don’t interact with many single 20-somethings. If you noticed I said single, it’s because I did. I have fabulous 20-something guy friends who aren’t single, and I blame them for my being single. Don’t you guys have friends you could introduce me to? Maybe it’s the true downside of suburbia, or Wisconsin. I’ve officially cancelled my account on the last dating website. It was a happy moment. All of the people I somehow facebook friended from my on-line dating experience, I’m still friends with. I did meet up with one person, but I’ll save that story for later.
Sally has a boyfriend now. Strangely enough he messaged me on a dating website a while before he met Sally. I never messaged him back. I sent him a cake with Sally to apologize for my apparent insensitivity for a lack of response. I think it all ended well… he ended up with a great girl, my bestie. If I didn’t think I had enough in common with someone, I didn’t respond to their message. I just wanted to save everyone time. I had enough times where I messaged someone, for them to stop messaging back a week later.
Sally is of no help in setting me up with guys. When she worked at a previous job she was going to set me up with a co-worker’s son. That didn’t happen. Then she was going to set me up with her boyfriend at the time’s best friend (who she ended up disliking – what?), and then she broke up with the guy. When she started seeing her boyfriend now, she was supposed to go on a date with another co-worker’s son. The strange thing was that this guy was going to take her on a date that I thoroughly would’ve appreciated – Cuban restaurant followed by going to the museum. Amazing, right? She had made the date with museum guy, and then really hit it off with her current boyfriend. The idea was she was going to break the date, and then suggest he go out with me instead. That was never going to work. Instead of our well-planned, and somewhat scripted idea, she avoided getting back in contact with him. Moral of the story is I need to get some co-workers…
From here we move on to Sally trying to get me going out more. I’m not going to lie; I’m not a “go out” kind of girl. I’d rather find a place where I can just sit and chat with people. Ideally, be able to hear my own thoughts. Sally’s new favorite hangout is on a side of town I’m not too fond of, particularly because I care about my own safety. We have ditched going downtown. That was a debacle. The theme of this place is tropical, and they make drinks with umbrellas and in volcano bowls which is why I’m convinced she drags me there. Sally set up a Girl’s Night Out. This ended up being Sally, myself, and her friend Abby.
At this point we’ve ditched the idea of wearing sparkly things. I had on a black dress with embroidery, black leggings (hello Wisconsin), and open-toed heels (hello idiot, it’s cold and you have a bad ankle!). By the time we made it in, I couldn’t feel my feet since they were so covered in snow. It was quite a walk. We were there for a while. Sally and I ordered a pizza and inhaled it in our foodie fashion. We looked around and started to notice that there were quite a few women in this bar. Abby starts google searching on her phone, and announces that we are in fact in a lesbian bar. I point out to Sally that this is not helping out the fact that I am single. She suggests we go to another location where they have artwork all over. I ask if there are more guys there. She guarantees that there are a lot more guys there.
We get back in the car, and at this point I switch to winter boots. Practicality over cuteness. Plus, I really do hate wearing heals. We get to the bar, walk in, and it’s empty except for a bartender and a handful of women sitting by the window. Sally, Abby, and I sit around a table asking each other questions, and then they teach me how to play pool. It was a fun girls’ night out, but not a successful dating night out.
Now that I’m back, you all can expect to see more posts. They might be more sporadic though because interesting things have to happen. The next post is planned and will cover other Sally adventures, and my thoughts of how the dating scene would be better in other cities. Feel free to comment. Feel free to set me up on a date.
-SJ
Sally has a boyfriend now. Strangely enough he messaged me on a dating website a while before he met Sally. I never messaged him back. I sent him a cake with Sally to apologize for my apparent insensitivity for a lack of response. I think it all ended well… he ended up with a great girl, my bestie. If I didn’t think I had enough in common with someone, I didn’t respond to their message. I just wanted to save everyone time. I had enough times where I messaged someone, for them to stop messaging back a week later.
Sally is of no help in setting me up with guys. When she worked at a previous job she was going to set me up with a co-worker’s son. That didn’t happen. Then she was going to set me up with her boyfriend at the time’s best friend (who she ended up disliking – what?), and then she broke up with the guy. When she started seeing her boyfriend now, she was supposed to go on a date with another co-worker’s son. The strange thing was that this guy was going to take her on a date that I thoroughly would’ve appreciated – Cuban restaurant followed by going to the museum. Amazing, right? She had made the date with museum guy, and then really hit it off with her current boyfriend. The idea was she was going to break the date, and then suggest he go out with me instead. That was never going to work. Instead of our well-planned, and somewhat scripted idea, she avoided getting back in contact with him. Moral of the story is I need to get some co-workers…
From here we move on to Sally trying to get me going out more. I’m not going to lie; I’m not a “go out” kind of girl. I’d rather find a place where I can just sit and chat with people. Ideally, be able to hear my own thoughts. Sally’s new favorite hangout is on a side of town I’m not too fond of, particularly because I care about my own safety. We have ditched going downtown. That was a debacle. The theme of this place is tropical, and they make drinks with umbrellas and in volcano bowls which is why I’m convinced she drags me there. Sally set up a Girl’s Night Out. This ended up being Sally, myself, and her friend Abby.
At this point we’ve ditched the idea of wearing sparkly things. I had on a black dress with embroidery, black leggings (hello Wisconsin), and open-toed heels (hello idiot, it’s cold and you have a bad ankle!). By the time we made it in, I couldn’t feel my feet since they were so covered in snow. It was quite a walk. We were there for a while. Sally and I ordered a pizza and inhaled it in our foodie fashion. We looked around and started to notice that there were quite a few women in this bar. Abby starts google searching on her phone, and announces that we are in fact in a lesbian bar. I point out to Sally that this is not helping out the fact that I am single. She suggests we go to another location where they have artwork all over. I ask if there are more guys there. She guarantees that there are a lot more guys there.
We get back in the car, and at this point I switch to winter boots. Practicality over cuteness. Plus, I really do hate wearing heals. We get to the bar, walk in, and it’s empty except for a bartender and a handful of women sitting by the window. Sally, Abby, and I sit around a table asking each other questions, and then they teach me how to play pool. It was a fun girls’ night out, but not a successful dating night out.
Now that I’m back, you all can expect to see more posts. They might be more sporadic though because interesting things have to happen. The next post is planned and will cover other Sally adventures, and my thoughts of how the dating scene would be better in other cities. Feel free to comment. Feel free to set me up on a date.
-SJ
Thursday, May 27, 2010
I come from the school of peculiar and misguided.
Remember me? I’m the single one. Yeah, still single. I stopped the dating website for a while. I permanently shut down my account for the initial website I signed up for. That leaves one remaining. I was sent an e-mail from the website saying I am now among the top half most attractive users, and because of this I can now view more attractive users. Um, what? I feel that I've been jipped up until this point. There are definitely more attractive guys now, but it’s still been eh so far. I like people who are unique, and there’s a whole lot of same-ness. It’s like the Bachelorette where the guys all look alike. How can she tell them apart? There is one type of message I’m very tired of getting on the dating site. I got one today, and quote “you are definitely too smart and too good looking for me.” It’s sweet initially when these messages arrive, but after a while… I mean I’m still single. Is this a confidence boosting tactic? I feel there must be more to these messages. I can’t intimidate people this much. I mean, we’re talking about me here. If that’s what people think, am I destined for a life of solitude?
I’d like to mention an old favorite. Ok, not really a favorite, but he did make the blog. Remember the guy who works at the pharmacy? He wanted to potentially kidnap me. I’ve discovered he actually works at the pharmacy where I get my meds. This may seem like a small deal if you were not aware of how often I frequent the pharmacy – two to three times a week. He’s always there. The last time I came in he was definitely scanning my face, and I could sense a hint of recognition. Ooooh, awkward. I feel unsettled now that he knows my entire medication list, and my home address. That’s a lot of information there. I wonder if I’ve ever been recognized outside of the dating website.
Sally said that one of my quirks is that I have an outgoing and flirty personality. Truth be told, I don’t know how to flirt. She said that guys can’t tell whether I like them, or if I am just being my usual nice self. Here is how you know if I like you… I will become incapable of having a normal conversation. If you know me, you know that I could talk your ear off. I can’t control my chattiness. That is unless I find you attractive, and then I’m super nervous. I’ll jumble my words, there will be awkward pauses because I won’t know what to intelligently say, and I’ll talk about really dumb and safe topics. My junior year of college I had a conversation with a guy I liked. It started off with talking about politics. I got back to my dorm and could’ve kicked myself. Politics? Smooth going Sami. It was then I thought “hey, at least you didn’t talk about the weather.” My roommate peaked in the room when I said aloud “Oh no! I talked about the weather too.” Lame, I’m aware.
The other way that a guy can tell that I like him is that I start gifting. It’s a compulsion that I don’t know how to control. I have to prelude the next part with the fact that I went to middle school and high school with the same 60-ish people. That’s seven years of being around the same guys! When I got to college I immediately became fond of a particular guy. He worked at one of the dining halls. I made my parents drive me to campus an extra half hour before classes for the first two weeks of school so I could eat breakfast at the dining hall. It happened to be my second breakfast of the morning since I didn’t want to explain the scenario to my parents of why I wanted to be on campus so early. Hello freshman 15. Anyways, I stopped that once I actually got to know him. Hello treadmill. At that point the gifting began – I burned 13 CDs for him. He didn’t even ask for CDs. I just showed up at his door with a stack of CDs. May I mention that a few of those were great bands – Flaming Lips, a Queen mix CD, and Pedro the Lion. I was 16 so please give me a break. Other gifts to different guys during college – an iTunes card, more CDs, a Gap card, a box of really amazing tea, a Banana Republic t-shirt (my friend Kelly suggested boxers on that one – devil in my ear!), and chocolate. My friends get plenty of sweet loot too. I’m just a gift-giving kind of girl. I love to see other people happy. I also like imposing my musical preferences on others. Believe me, if at any point I start gifting know that something is up.
I’ll post soon about some of the guys I’ve been talking to recently. It would just be so much easier to skip the awkward website stuff. I’m tempted to just quit, and hope I either meet someone or that someone I know miraculously takes interest in me. It could happen. Right? By the way, I cut my hair kind of short. It was donated to help soak up oil in the recent oil spill. We can all find ways to help.
-SJ
I’d like to mention an old favorite. Ok, not really a favorite, but he did make the blog. Remember the guy who works at the pharmacy? He wanted to potentially kidnap me. I’ve discovered he actually works at the pharmacy where I get my meds. This may seem like a small deal if you were not aware of how often I frequent the pharmacy – two to three times a week. He’s always there. The last time I came in he was definitely scanning my face, and I could sense a hint of recognition. Ooooh, awkward. I feel unsettled now that he knows my entire medication list, and my home address. That’s a lot of information there. I wonder if I’ve ever been recognized outside of the dating website.
Sally said that one of my quirks is that I have an outgoing and flirty personality. Truth be told, I don’t know how to flirt. She said that guys can’t tell whether I like them, or if I am just being my usual nice self. Here is how you know if I like you… I will become incapable of having a normal conversation. If you know me, you know that I could talk your ear off. I can’t control my chattiness. That is unless I find you attractive, and then I’m super nervous. I’ll jumble my words, there will be awkward pauses because I won’t know what to intelligently say, and I’ll talk about really dumb and safe topics. My junior year of college I had a conversation with a guy I liked. It started off with talking about politics. I got back to my dorm and could’ve kicked myself. Politics? Smooth going Sami. It was then I thought “hey, at least you didn’t talk about the weather.” My roommate peaked in the room when I said aloud “Oh no! I talked about the weather too.” Lame, I’m aware.
The other way that a guy can tell that I like him is that I start gifting. It’s a compulsion that I don’t know how to control. I have to prelude the next part with the fact that I went to middle school and high school with the same 60-ish people. That’s seven years of being around the same guys! When I got to college I immediately became fond of a particular guy. He worked at one of the dining halls. I made my parents drive me to campus an extra half hour before classes for the first two weeks of school so I could eat breakfast at the dining hall. It happened to be my second breakfast of the morning since I didn’t want to explain the scenario to my parents of why I wanted to be on campus so early. Hello freshman 15. Anyways, I stopped that once I actually got to know him. Hello treadmill. At that point the gifting began – I burned 13 CDs for him. He didn’t even ask for CDs. I just showed up at his door with a stack of CDs. May I mention that a few of those were great bands – Flaming Lips, a Queen mix CD, and Pedro the Lion. I was 16 so please give me a break. Other gifts to different guys during college – an iTunes card, more CDs, a Gap card, a box of really amazing tea, a Banana Republic t-shirt (my friend Kelly suggested boxers on that one – devil in my ear!), and chocolate. My friends get plenty of sweet loot too. I’m just a gift-giving kind of girl. I love to see other people happy. I also like imposing my musical preferences on others. Believe me, if at any point I start gifting know that something is up.
I’ll post soon about some of the guys I’ve been talking to recently. It would just be so much easier to skip the awkward website stuff. I’m tempted to just quit, and hope I either meet someone or that someone I know miraculously takes interest in me. It could happen. Right? By the way, I cut my hair kind of short. It was donated to help soak up oil in the recent oil spill. We can all find ways to help.
-SJ
Thursday, April 15, 2010
When advice doesn't apply.
Giving advice is an interesting concept to me. There are a lot of dating books out there that attempt to offer advice. If you select two books at random, I can guarantee they will offer conflicting views. I did pick up a great book recently though called “I Don’t Care About Your Band” by Julie Klausner. I liked the quote that said “a musician writing you a song is like a baker making you a cake. Aim higher.” Doesn’t that put things into perspective? However, I have to say that if I write you a song you should definitely feel relatively special. It takes a lot for me to be inspired.
Sally gives a whole new twist to advice. She sent me an article from CNN about on-line dating. It arrived straight to my facebook box in the form of a link. Sending a link is one thing, but there was a message attached. It said that she thought I’d like to read this, don’t be put off by the STD part. I could just write a question mark at this point to express what was going through my mind at the time. I pulled up the article and the headline was about a special on-line dating website for people with a chronic illness. About when to tell your new significant other about your health issues… that happens to be herpes. I was laughing entirely too much. This was the least applicable article ever. I sent her a message back asking at what point was I supposed to look past the STD part. If I ever write a dating book, Sally will write the foreword.
Sally told me she has a wedding to go to coming up soon. She was all excited until she realized she had no date for the wedding. Guess what? I have two weddings coming up this summer. Sally thinks that you can meet single guys at weddings, but from my experience it only occurs in movies. I’ve never taken anyone with me to a wedding. I hate weddings. I really do. You have to understand, I have a very large family and as a result I’ve been to a lot of weddings. Then your cousins start having kids, and a wedding becomes a small village. I like dancing, but eventually there is a bouquet toss which leads to some epic battles. My cousin, Veronica, was cut to the point of bleeding by a desperately vicious single lady with razor sharp claws who wanted that bouquet. There were strobe lights at the same time as the bouquet toss from the last wedding I was at. The last single lady not seizing gets married next! I recently discussed the following with my 23 year old cousin, Veronica (who is probably soon to be engaged – I’d put money on it).
Here are the following curmudgeon threats (in jest) I’ve made if I am to ever get married:
-I’m going to get married in Guam. People will have to pay large amounts of money if they want to attend, and it will generally inconvenience everyone. Does anyone notice the significant increase in destination weddings?
-I’m going to get married on Halloween. I mean, can you even imagine the ridiculousness of that?
-I don’t want to pay to feed all of the people that would inevitably be invited, so there would only be snacks. Oh, no free alcohol either.
In all seriousness I would never wear white because I’m really white, there would be limited people invited, and forget champagne because I want a latte in my hand at the reception. There would be cupcakes. I like cupcakes.
I never called Dino Dude, but I still have yet to tell you all about the social monogamist. I talked to him for a very long time on instant message. It was a two hour conversation. He lives in Chicago, and works at a university. He reminds me of one of my most favorite guy friends from college. I would never date him, but I found him interesting. There is a journal portion to the dating website, and he has it filled with his views on life. Basically social monogamy is that you would be dedicated to one person in every sense but the monogamy part that matters to pretty much most people. That’s at least from what I understand. If you want to know more about social monogamy, Google search it. He also lives his life to make himself happy. If a person was on a date with him and he wasn’t happy at some point during the date, he would end it on the spot. I make a conscious choice to be very happy, but he kind of takes being happy to a more selfish level rather than selfless. I’m not trying to be insulting, because he was perfectly sweet and kind while talking. He said he isn’t as impulsive as he makes it seem. Also, his profile said that he doesn’t pick up on the body language/social cues of dating. He said he wondered what would happen if we met because 1/3 of people fall in love two weeks following with someone else. That’s kind of bittersweet. I hope he finds what he is looking for eventually.
-SJ
Sally gives a whole new twist to advice. She sent me an article from CNN about on-line dating. It arrived straight to my facebook box in the form of a link. Sending a link is one thing, but there was a message attached. It said that she thought I’d like to read this, don’t be put off by the STD part. I could just write a question mark at this point to express what was going through my mind at the time. I pulled up the article and the headline was about a special on-line dating website for people with a chronic illness. About when to tell your new significant other about your health issues… that happens to be herpes. I was laughing entirely too much. This was the least applicable article ever. I sent her a message back asking at what point was I supposed to look past the STD part. If I ever write a dating book, Sally will write the foreword.
Sally told me she has a wedding to go to coming up soon. She was all excited until she realized she had no date for the wedding. Guess what? I have two weddings coming up this summer. Sally thinks that you can meet single guys at weddings, but from my experience it only occurs in movies. I’ve never taken anyone with me to a wedding. I hate weddings. I really do. You have to understand, I have a very large family and as a result I’ve been to a lot of weddings. Then your cousins start having kids, and a wedding becomes a small village. I like dancing, but eventually there is a bouquet toss which leads to some epic battles. My cousin, Veronica, was cut to the point of bleeding by a desperately vicious single lady with razor sharp claws who wanted that bouquet. There were strobe lights at the same time as the bouquet toss from the last wedding I was at. The last single lady not seizing gets married next! I recently discussed the following with my 23 year old cousin, Veronica (who is probably soon to be engaged – I’d put money on it).
Here are the following curmudgeon threats (in jest) I’ve made if I am to ever get married:
-I’m going to get married in Guam. People will have to pay large amounts of money if they want to attend, and it will generally inconvenience everyone. Does anyone notice the significant increase in destination weddings?
-I’m going to get married on Halloween. I mean, can you even imagine the ridiculousness of that?
-I don’t want to pay to feed all of the people that would inevitably be invited, so there would only be snacks. Oh, no free alcohol either.
In all seriousness I would never wear white because I’m really white, there would be limited people invited, and forget champagne because I want a latte in my hand at the reception. There would be cupcakes. I like cupcakes.
I never called Dino Dude, but I still have yet to tell you all about the social monogamist. I talked to him for a very long time on instant message. It was a two hour conversation. He lives in Chicago, and works at a university. He reminds me of one of my most favorite guy friends from college. I would never date him, but I found him interesting. There is a journal portion to the dating website, and he has it filled with his views on life. Basically social monogamy is that you would be dedicated to one person in every sense but the monogamy part that matters to pretty much most people. That’s at least from what I understand. If you want to know more about social monogamy, Google search it. He also lives his life to make himself happy. If a person was on a date with him and he wasn’t happy at some point during the date, he would end it on the spot. I make a conscious choice to be very happy, but he kind of takes being happy to a more selfish level rather than selfless. I’m not trying to be insulting, because he was perfectly sweet and kind while talking. He said he isn’t as impulsive as he makes it seem. Also, his profile said that he doesn’t pick up on the body language/social cues of dating. He said he wondered what would happen if we met because 1/3 of people fall in love two weeks following with someone else. That’s kind of bittersweet. I hope he finds what he is looking for eventually.
-SJ
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So Many Thoughts. Unfortunately, All At Once.
I’m back to the blog, and I don’t have any dates to show for it. This entry is completely reserved for random rumblings of mine. First of all, holy wow, I’m responsible for a love match! If you read in the comments below you will read that someone met their boyfriend of three months by signing up for on-line dating after they read my blog. They can take some of the credit, I’ll take most of it. I hope that’s ok. I wish you a really long time of happiness as long as I find a boyfriend eventually. I’m kidding.
The redhead stalkerazzi came out this week. There’s a fine line with these “you’re hot for a redhead” messages. Then there was “I always thought redheads couldn’t be attractive until I saw your picture”. Backhanded compliments I tell you! It would be different if someone said they had a thing for redheads. Is it ok to say “well, you’re really hot for being a Native American”? I would think not. Don’t discredit my fellow unnaturally pale comrades.
Things that really suck about having red hair:
-I went to Mexico, and a family friend purchased SPF 140 after I turned crispy with SPF 45 every 15 minutes. Do you also notice that the fashion magazines mock the celebs that wear summer clothing while still pale?
-Your eyebrows are really blonde to the point where they are invisible. I started having my eyebrows dyed in my tweens. I look back on pictures of me before eyebrow dye and shed a single tear for the existence of extended monochrome space between my eyelids and my forehead.
-Your eyelashes are the same blonde. Simply, you don’t look like you have eyelashes. This was never apparent to me until my Sophomore year of high school. The seventeen year old boy I liked turned to me and said…
Him: Have you ever thought of using mascara?
Me: No, why?
Him: You’d look better.
Me: My hair is red though. It will look strange if I have black eyelashes.
Him: You’ll look like you actually have eyelashes though. Black is better than what you already have.
I think you get the point. Don't get me wrong. I will never be a blonde or brunette. I like my hair color.
I talked to the med student again. The conversation was really terrible a second time. I never should’ve contacted him again. I should’ve waited for him to contact me. Instead I initiate a horribly lame conversation in which he reveals that he has a thing for Jews. I found that weird, but in my favor at the same time. Ok, ½ in my favor. I don’t think I’ll be talking to him again. I’m going to segue into another topic with the Jew thing. I talked to the one guy with the angry MySpace blog again. He is adopted, and his adoptive family is Jewish. He brought the topic up, and said how he has the “Jewish nose” and everything. This confused me… he’s adopted. I was being sarcastic when I said to one of my friends that “What did he come from Judaica Hillel Adoption Agency? Did his nose start growing when he heard Hebrew? Is there an adopt-a-Jew program?” Thank you google search, I guess there really is. Wow. My mistake. Oh well, I still think it’s funny.
I started talking to a guy this weekend who we shall entitle “Dinosaur Dude”. He speaks to me in dinosaur. If I were a paleontologist this could be a hugely attractive quality. However, since I’m not, it’s just weird. The guy is cute though. It's just a question of how much crazy can you put up with for the cute. He’s an artist, and works currently in the graphic arts sector. I think he is totally unemployed because he checked out my profile during the day today. His mom serves on the board of the rep and the art museum. There’s something weird about him though. It might be how he morphs my name into Samiceratops. I want to know how I have been selected to be a triceratops. I would’ve gone for a pterodactyl, but no one wanted my opinion on that one. He gave me his phone number, but when I reverse searched it the number came up as a home number for a 70-something couple. He claims it is his cell phone. I suppose I could call him. What would be the proper greeting - rawr or hello? Why do I have to call him? I’m terrible on the phone. Next thing I know he'll tell me he is married, and then I'll have to focus on not passing out again.
I told Sally I’m unsure about the artistic people grouping. I know I’m an artsy person and all, but I know too many others who have no further interest in having a steady job or life. They are fine living their in the clouds life without any kind of thoughts about how to pay for rent or food. Dino Dude wants to spend his life travelling about. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the business/lawyer/doctor people all seem to take life way too seriously. I either have to find an arts person who doesn’t want to spend their life starving, or a person with a steady/serious occupation who is not so serious all of the time.
I have so much more to tell you all about. In my next post I will tell you about the social monogamist (look it up in wikipedia). I will explain to you about my complete disdain for all things wedding related. Maybe I’ll tell you how a phone conversation with Dino Dude went if I decide to call him.
Peace and love.
-SJ
The redhead stalkerazzi came out this week. There’s a fine line with these “you’re hot for a redhead” messages. Then there was “I always thought redheads couldn’t be attractive until I saw your picture”. Backhanded compliments I tell you! It would be different if someone said they had a thing for redheads. Is it ok to say “well, you’re really hot for being a Native American”? I would think not. Don’t discredit my fellow unnaturally pale comrades.
Things that really suck about having red hair:
-I went to Mexico, and a family friend purchased SPF 140 after I turned crispy with SPF 45 every 15 minutes. Do you also notice that the fashion magazines mock the celebs that wear summer clothing while still pale?
-Your eyebrows are really blonde to the point where they are invisible. I started having my eyebrows dyed in my tweens. I look back on pictures of me before eyebrow dye and shed a single tear for the existence of extended monochrome space between my eyelids and my forehead.
-Your eyelashes are the same blonde. Simply, you don’t look like you have eyelashes. This was never apparent to me until my Sophomore year of high school. The seventeen year old boy I liked turned to me and said…
Him: Have you ever thought of using mascara?
Me: No, why?
Him: You’d look better.
Me: My hair is red though. It will look strange if I have black eyelashes.
Him: You’ll look like you actually have eyelashes though. Black is better than what you already have.
I think you get the point. Don't get me wrong. I will never be a blonde or brunette. I like my hair color.
I talked to the med student again. The conversation was really terrible a second time. I never should’ve contacted him again. I should’ve waited for him to contact me. Instead I initiate a horribly lame conversation in which he reveals that he has a thing for Jews. I found that weird, but in my favor at the same time. Ok, ½ in my favor. I don’t think I’ll be talking to him again. I’m going to segue into another topic with the Jew thing. I talked to the one guy with the angry MySpace blog again. He is adopted, and his adoptive family is Jewish. He brought the topic up, and said how he has the “Jewish nose” and everything. This confused me… he’s adopted. I was being sarcastic when I said to one of my friends that “What did he come from Judaica Hillel Adoption Agency? Did his nose start growing when he heard Hebrew? Is there an adopt-a-Jew program?” Thank you google search, I guess there really is. Wow. My mistake. Oh well, I still think it’s funny.
I started talking to a guy this weekend who we shall entitle “Dinosaur Dude”. He speaks to me in dinosaur. If I were a paleontologist this could be a hugely attractive quality. However, since I’m not, it’s just weird. The guy is cute though. It's just a question of how much crazy can you put up with for the cute. He’s an artist, and works currently in the graphic arts sector. I think he is totally unemployed because he checked out my profile during the day today. His mom serves on the board of the rep and the art museum. There’s something weird about him though. It might be how he morphs my name into Samiceratops. I want to know how I have been selected to be a triceratops. I would’ve gone for a pterodactyl, but no one wanted my opinion on that one. He gave me his phone number, but when I reverse searched it the number came up as a home number for a 70-something couple. He claims it is his cell phone. I suppose I could call him. What would be the proper greeting - rawr or hello? Why do I have to call him? I’m terrible on the phone. Next thing I know he'll tell me he is married, and then I'll have to focus on not passing out again.
I told Sally I’m unsure about the artistic people grouping. I know I’m an artsy person and all, but I know too many others who have no further interest in having a steady job or life. They are fine living their in the clouds life without any kind of thoughts about how to pay for rent or food. Dino Dude wants to spend his life travelling about. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the business/lawyer/doctor people all seem to take life way too seriously. I either have to find an arts person who doesn’t want to spend their life starving, or a person with a steady/serious occupation who is not so serious all of the time.
I have so much more to tell you all about. In my next post I will tell you about the social monogamist (look it up in wikipedia). I will explain to you about my complete disdain for all things wedding related. Maybe I’ll tell you how a phone conversation with Dino Dude went if I decide to call him.
Peace and love.
-SJ
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Swahili Speaking Medical Students Are So Common These Days.
Wow. I’ve found someone I actually really like on this internet dating mishegoss (that’s yiddish). I feel so silly even writing about this in general. I have a perma-smile on my face right now. It’s that good. So it all started when I saw an uploaded picture of this guy. Very cute. Definitely my type – brown hair and blue eyes. His profile hadn’t even been started yet. All I had was that he is 6’3 and lives in Chicago. He also had pictures from Africa. His smile just radiated off of the computer screen. I could tell that this was a good person.
I sent him the strangest message in the history of on-line dating. It went along the lines of how I liked his smile, and he looked like a nice person. I am not about sending messages to people with just pictures because it seems like you are only going by looks alone. How was I to know if he would even be anything of interest once I read an established profile. Then his profile was updated, and lo and behold, there is so much promise there. He likes to ride a bicycle and listens to Radiohead – two things that were on my “I like these kind of guys” paragraph a few posts back. He likes green and I like teal. They’re both in the same color family. Guess what… he’s in medical school!
I waited all day and heard nothing back. I should know not to be any kind of impatient. I mean really, I probably could’ve given him two weeks to respond to me. Medical school is crazy from what I hear. I sent him another insane message today. This time it comes in IM form. I sent a message apologizing for the all kinds of bizarre that was the e-mail I sent, and how I didn’t want to keep sending e-mails so I figured IM would be ok. It went straight to e-mail! It was like when you are in the middle of leaving a voice mail and the machine cuts you off before you can leave your number. Your only option is to call again explaining that the machine cut you off, and then by the time you finish explaining the machine cuts you off again. Ok, so I send ANOTHER message. I said how for what it was worth I wanted to tell him how much I liked Radiohead, and that I can usually diagnose at least one out of two patients weekly on Mystery Diagnosis before they come up with the diagnosis.
This is the point where he sends me back a message, thoroughly amused that a girl has gone to these lengths to get his attention. We had a fabulous conversation. He went to Africa to observe hospitals and do some volunteering with the HIV prevention efforts. I said that I’ve only been to Mexico which he really liked because he’s trying to learn Spanish. He was completely fascinated by me being a writer, and wanted to know the process of everything. We talked about a few more things, and then he said he had to go study. We ended the conversation in Spanish which was so cute. I was on the website for a bit longer. Apparently he re-signed in, and then he messaged me again. He wanted to let me know he was on-line again, and wanted to contact me while he quick changed his password. This is just too good. We’ll see…
Also lovelies... feel free to write a comment. It can be anonymous, and you do not need a special account to write a little something. I'd love advice and input. Please do not go out of your way to write anything hurtful. I do have feelings.
-SJ
I sent him the strangest message in the history of on-line dating. It went along the lines of how I liked his smile, and he looked like a nice person. I am not about sending messages to people with just pictures because it seems like you are only going by looks alone. How was I to know if he would even be anything of interest once I read an established profile. Then his profile was updated, and lo and behold, there is so much promise there. He likes to ride a bicycle and listens to Radiohead – two things that were on my “I like these kind of guys” paragraph a few posts back. He likes green and I like teal. They’re both in the same color family. Guess what… he’s in medical school!
I waited all day and heard nothing back. I should know not to be any kind of impatient. I mean really, I probably could’ve given him two weeks to respond to me. Medical school is crazy from what I hear. I sent him another insane message today. This time it comes in IM form. I sent a message apologizing for the all kinds of bizarre that was the e-mail I sent, and how I didn’t want to keep sending e-mails so I figured IM would be ok. It went straight to e-mail! It was like when you are in the middle of leaving a voice mail and the machine cuts you off before you can leave your number. Your only option is to call again explaining that the machine cut you off, and then by the time you finish explaining the machine cuts you off again. Ok, so I send ANOTHER message. I said how for what it was worth I wanted to tell him how much I liked Radiohead, and that I can usually diagnose at least one out of two patients weekly on Mystery Diagnosis before they come up with the diagnosis.
This is the point where he sends me back a message, thoroughly amused that a girl has gone to these lengths to get his attention. We had a fabulous conversation. He went to Africa to observe hospitals and do some volunteering with the HIV prevention efforts. I said that I’ve only been to Mexico which he really liked because he’s trying to learn Spanish. He was completely fascinated by me being a writer, and wanted to know the process of everything. We talked about a few more things, and then he said he had to go study. We ended the conversation in Spanish which was so cute. I was on the website for a bit longer. Apparently he re-signed in, and then he messaged me again. He wanted to let me know he was on-line again, and wanted to contact me while he quick changed his password. This is just too good. We’ll see…
Also lovelies... feel free to write a comment. It can be anonymous, and you do not need a special account to write a little something. I'd love advice and input. Please do not go out of your way to write anything hurtful. I do have feelings.
-SJ
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
True Story
I took an on-line quiz that said I was a unicorn. The following is a real life conversation on-line, and exhibit A as to why I'm single.
Him: hey Unicorn :)
Me: Yeah, unicorn, who knew.
Him: Nice
Him: and you love singing too?
Me: yes, absolutely
Him: same here
Me: specifics?
Him: seems like you are a musician
Me: yeah I am
Him: i like singing with my guitar
Me: I kind of do everything that is artsy except drawing/painting kind of stuff.
Me: I can't draw a straight line with a ruler - pretty helpless in that department.
Him: ha ha i see
Him: when did you sign up this site
Me: January I think
Me: not too long ago
Me: Haven't been on it too much though. It was my friend's idea of a Christmas present.
Him: you have a big smile, i love it
Me: oh, well thank you
Him: do you have kids
Me: do I have children?
Me: no, not at all
Me: why?
Him: just curious
Me: Do I look like someone who would?
Him: no, no you are very beautiful
Him: i am looking for someone who loves kids
Me: do you have kids?
Him: no
Me: I like kids. I have the most amazing niece.
Him: i wanna have kids with my partner
Me: yeah, most people do
Him: what about you
Him: you wanna have kids someday?
Me: yeah, someday
Him: i hate cheating, what about you
Me: um yeah, that's definitely not cool
Him: cool
Him: i prefer keeping my feeling inside sometime
Him: what about you
Me: I'm not a very emotive person
Him: i am unemotional
Me: Like a robot?
Him: i am Aquarius
Me: Pisces
Him: cool
Him: are you a happy person
Me: extremely happy
Me: you?
Him: yeah
Me: that must conflict with being unemotional though
Him: yeah i know
Him: hey Unicorn :)
Me: Yeah, unicorn, who knew.
Him: Nice
Him: and you love singing too?
Me: yes, absolutely
Him: same here
Me: specifics?
Him: seems like you are a musician
Me: yeah I am
Him: i like singing with my guitar
Me: I kind of do everything that is artsy except drawing/painting kind of stuff.
Me: I can't draw a straight line with a ruler - pretty helpless in that department.
Him: ha ha i see
Him: when did you sign up this site
Me: January I think
Me: not too long ago
Me: Haven't been on it too much though. It was my friend's idea of a Christmas present.
Him: you have a big smile, i love it
Me: oh, well thank you
Him: do you have kids
Me: do I have children?
Me: no, not at all
Me: why?
Him: just curious
Me: Do I look like someone who would?
Him: no, no you are very beautiful
Him: i am looking for someone who loves kids
Me: do you have kids?
Him: no
Me: I like kids. I have the most amazing niece.
Him: i wanna have kids with my partner
Me: yeah, most people do
Him: what about you
Him: you wanna have kids someday?
Me: yeah, someday
Him: i hate cheating, what about you
Me: um yeah, that's definitely not cool
Him: cool
Him: i prefer keeping my feeling inside sometime
Him: what about you
Me: I'm not a very emotive person
Him: i am unemotional
Me: Like a robot?
Him: i am Aquarius
Me: Pisces
Him: cool
Him: are you a happy person
Me: extremely happy
Me: you?
Him: yeah
Me: that must conflict with being unemotional though
Him: yeah i know
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
A Picture is Worth Lots of Words
I have stumbled upon an interesting new development. Pictures in an on-line dating profile can really make a difference. Ok, I did know that. I didn't, however, know that my on-line dating array of pictures was in all kinds of wrong land. I had nothing to do tonight. I’ve been sick for the last few days which explains my lack of Friday night plans (which is when I started writing this – hello procrastination). I went on one of the dating websites and decided to change things up a bit. I looked through my main profile, and I still have not found anything I need to or could really change. It’s the best possible summary of myself.
In my complete boredom, I changed all of my pictures. This happened after I rearranged my DVD collection by categories that make sense to me (Heath Ledger collection, sappy movies, movies about princesses, rom-coms that provide an unrealistic view on love and will traumatize you forever, Audrey Hepburn movies, etc). One of the pictures I put up is from my recent small birthday party. It’s a very current picture. I also have more pictures from when my hair is long versus short. My hair is kind of in-between right now. I cut a lot off last summer, so now I’m almost back to the length it is in the picture. Do men like longer hair better than shorter hair? By short I mean like chin-length. Also, one of my main pictures is of me singing. I think the music thing is a definite draw.
With these recent updates in mind I had twenty new people look at my page, and had five people send me messages in ten minutes. That's record timing. Anything promising? Unfortunately, no. I really must have needed to change pictures. I took my headshot down. Hey, I am an actress. I think the new pictures make me seem more approachable now.
As of last night I started talking to a 21 year old college student who is majoring in film. We were talking a lot about screenplay writing, and how you can get really great material from your dreams. It was an assignment in one of his classes. A lot of my great ideas happen at night right before I go to sleep, or while I’m getting ready in the morning. It is terrible because there’s never a pen and paper around at either time. Well, I did some investigating and found his MySpace. Blog after blog about how girls are trashy. “I went out with this skank in April and then I went out with this one whore in June.” Month after month of derogatory name calling of women. This blog extended back for 4 years, but he hadn’t posted in the last 8 months or so. I know he’s a youngin’, but I’m inclined to believe that a mindset like that doesn’t change so quickly.
Sally actually ditched the on-line dating. We need to find new ways of meeting people. I’m going to start searching for singles mixers, book clubs, etc. Something! She had two boyfriend situations since December which could fall into the "don't let this happen to you" category. I have a hunch on where Sally and I have things so very wrong. Sally and I have certain guys that have entered our lives at some point where nothing ever progressed into dating, or really anything beyond friends. In our search (I initially put “hunt” but that seemed so animalistic) for a guy, we have tried to find someone that matched up to that “never-more-than-friends-guy” as much as humanly possible. It just doesn’t cut it though. I wonder what it is about these certain guys that set the standard for us. I remember watching a news segment on how our brains already have a checklist, and that when we meet someone new our brains evaluate if they fit our programmed criteria. I wonder if I ever set the standard for someone else. I think it would be difficult to find a replica me. If anyone is out there trying to find a replica me, um, the real me is available. Just saying.
-SJ
In my complete boredom, I changed all of my pictures. This happened after I rearranged my DVD collection by categories that make sense to me (Heath Ledger collection, sappy movies, movies about princesses, rom-coms that provide an unrealistic view on love and will traumatize you forever, Audrey Hepburn movies, etc). One of the pictures I put up is from my recent small birthday party. It’s a very current picture. I also have more pictures from when my hair is long versus short. My hair is kind of in-between right now. I cut a lot off last summer, so now I’m almost back to the length it is in the picture. Do men like longer hair better than shorter hair? By short I mean like chin-length. Also, one of my main pictures is of me singing. I think the music thing is a definite draw.
With these recent updates in mind I had twenty new people look at my page, and had five people send me messages in ten minutes. That's record timing. Anything promising? Unfortunately, no. I really must have needed to change pictures. I took my headshot down. Hey, I am an actress. I think the new pictures make me seem more approachable now.
As of last night I started talking to a 21 year old college student who is majoring in film. We were talking a lot about screenplay writing, and how you can get really great material from your dreams. It was an assignment in one of his classes. A lot of my great ideas happen at night right before I go to sleep, or while I’m getting ready in the morning. It is terrible because there’s never a pen and paper around at either time. Well, I did some investigating and found his MySpace. Blog after blog about how girls are trashy. “I went out with this skank in April and then I went out with this one whore in June.” Month after month of derogatory name calling of women. This blog extended back for 4 years, but he hadn’t posted in the last 8 months or so. I know he’s a youngin’, but I’m inclined to believe that a mindset like that doesn’t change so quickly.
Sally actually ditched the on-line dating. We need to find new ways of meeting people. I’m going to start searching for singles mixers, book clubs, etc. Something! She had two boyfriend situations since December which could fall into the "don't let this happen to you" category. I have a hunch on where Sally and I have things so very wrong. Sally and I have certain guys that have entered our lives at some point where nothing ever progressed into dating, or really anything beyond friends. In our search (I initially put “hunt” but that seemed so animalistic) for a guy, we have tried to find someone that matched up to that “never-more-than-friends-guy” as much as humanly possible. It just doesn’t cut it though. I wonder what it is about these certain guys that set the standard for us. I remember watching a news segment on how our brains already have a checklist, and that when we meet someone new our brains evaluate if they fit our programmed criteria. I wonder if I ever set the standard for someone else. I think it would be difficult to find a replica me. If anyone is out there trying to find a replica me, um, the real me is available. Just saying.
-SJ
Monday, March 22, 2010
I'm a guppy trying to date in a sea of really confusing fish.
This blog has been on hold mostly because I stopped talking to people from the on-line dating websites. I felt in the end it was a big time waster. On-line dating, not the blog. No one really wants to meet in person. I think most people seem happy just talking until eternity through on-line dates. That isn’t really dating. Next thing you know, there will be virtual engagements and weddings. Sally seems to be doing well with the on-line dating. She is dating a guy who has a roommate that also happens to be on the dating website. He’s getting a masters in psych, which I find very interesting. She’s trying to set us up. I’ll go for it. Right now I’m not being picky. I could at least use dating experience.
I think part of the problem with on-line dating is people trying to be something they are not. The same thing happens with dating in general. As the relationship progresses, you slowly find that the person you started off dating is not the same person you seem to be dating now. I mean, we all want to put our best foot forward. I think there is a fine line between that, and assuming a persona different from who you really are. There are on-line dating profiles filled with information that really does not represent the person, but just sounds good to a potential dating prospect. Then there are the pictures that are from years prior. I’ve even seen a 25 year old have a prom picture. I don’t understand what they are trying to achieve by this.
I think the same thing carries over into real life (as in not on-line) dating. Someday when I go out with someone, I want them to be themselves. Literally. I’ve gotten sucked into reading dating advice books and websites, and I think they generally give terrible advice. I do believe that body language can provide a good clue as to whether someone likes you or not. In general though they are giving terrible advice to women. I’ve come to this conclusion because they are giving equally terrible advice to men. One website was saying that women like when men are kind of snarky and mean to them. Basically if you ignore a woman it will make them want you more. It also said that this is to be done especially to very pretty women as they need to get knocked off of their pedestals. I know plenty of women who are very beautiful, and do not have a clue they are attractive. I can guarantee that acting like this will not only ruin the guy’s chances, but also lower the woman's self-esteem. I get irritated because I find any form of game playing ridiculous. Another website was telling guys that they need to find a woman that is below their caliber in social status because women want men to be superior to them and not their equal.
If you are reading this and are interested in me (who reads this anyways that wants to date me?), do not follow this advice. I think I’m kind of a peculiar kind of girl. I want to go on a date and have the guy be one hundred percent himself. I get easily intimidated when I find someone attractive. I appreciate "flaws" because then I know you are actually human. Please do not act in a way you most likely would not behave. I don’t want to find out a month later that you are completely different. If you tend to go for a week sometimes without shaving, and you happen to be on day three of that “no-shave” roll… don’t shave just for the date. I’d find it more attractive that you felt comfortable enough to be yourself around me. I don’t believe in topic taboos. It’s just too much to think about. “Ooops, I can’t talk about that subject until the third date.” I find that bizarre. There’s only so much time that can be spent talking about favorite movies and music. Another really confusing concept is if you are chatting for a while with a guy at a bar. When he goes to buy himself a drink, but then doesn’t buy you one does that mean he doesn’t like you? Who decided upon these social rules and rituals anyways? They are confusing, and I don’t like them. I spend way too much time thinking about this stuff.
I’m socially flawed if you didn’t know. I’m not one of those women who need constant attention. I’m not one of those twirling the hair and batting the eyelashes women who casually touches a guy’s arm during a conversation. I don’t know how to be that woman. It’s not how I’m accustomed to interacting with other people, and it probably wouldn’t come across as natural if I somehow remembered to behave that way. My other big problem is that I have vast knowledge on a lot of different topics. I love to read, and I love to research really random things for fun. I like learning. If someone gets me started talking about one of these random topics I like, I switch into encyclopedia mode. My brain makes a shift to start rattling off information. I’ll stop myself at times and think “what the heck am I doing”. It is borderline embarrassing. Basically the main problem is I want a boyfriend/friend. Friends understand that their friends have quirks and find those quirks endearing. I think that’s where college dating is so much easier because a friendship can evolve into a relationship. That seems to be much more difficult to accomplish in the adult world. I want a friend who I find completely attractive and who I am totally comfortable being myself around to just up and realize one day that they are head over heels for me. This unfortunately does not exist in my world. I’ll just have to figure out how to go about dating like everyone else.
I am now 22 (happy birthday to me), and I am still very much single. By the way - I went to a wedding, again, by myself. I'm pretty much the only single one left in my age group. At least when I do get into a relationship I completely know who I am, what my goals are, and what I want out of life. That has to be a positive thing.
-SJ
I think part of the problem with on-line dating is people trying to be something they are not. The same thing happens with dating in general. As the relationship progresses, you slowly find that the person you started off dating is not the same person you seem to be dating now. I mean, we all want to put our best foot forward. I think there is a fine line between that, and assuming a persona different from who you really are. There are on-line dating profiles filled with information that really does not represent the person, but just sounds good to a potential dating prospect. Then there are the pictures that are from years prior. I’ve even seen a 25 year old have a prom picture. I don’t understand what they are trying to achieve by this.
I think the same thing carries over into real life (as in not on-line) dating. Someday when I go out with someone, I want them to be themselves. Literally. I’ve gotten sucked into reading dating advice books and websites, and I think they generally give terrible advice. I do believe that body language can provide a good clue as to whether someone likes you or not. In general though they are giving terrible advice to women. I’ve come to this conclusion because they are giving equally terrible advice to men. One website was saying that women like when men are kind of snarky and mean to them. Basically if you ignore a woman it will make them want you more. It also said that this is to be done especially to very pretty women as they need to get knocked off of their pedestals. I know plenty of women who are very beautiful, and do not have a clue they are attractive. I can guarantee that acting like this will not only ruin the guy’s chances, but also lower the woman's self-esteem. I get irritated because I find any form of game playing ridiculous. Another website was telling guys that they need to find a woman that is below their caliber in social status because women want men to be superior to them and not their equal.
If you are reading this and are interested in me (who reads this anyways that wants to date me?), do not follow this advice. I think I’m kind of a peculiar kind of girl. I want to go on a date and have the guy be one hundred percent himself. I get easily intimidated when I find someone attractive. I appreciate "flaws" because then I know you are actually human. Please do not act in a way you most likely would not behave. I don’t want to find out a month later that you are completely different. If you tend to go for a week sometimes without shaving, and you happen to be on day three of that “no-shave” roll… don’t shave just for the date. I’d find it more attractive that you felt comfortable enough to be yourself around me. I don’t believe in topic taboos. It’s just too much to think about. “Ooops, I can’t talk about that subject until the third date.” I find that bizarre. There’s only so much time that can be spent talking about favorite movies and music. Another really confusing concept is if you are chatting for a while with a guy at a bar. When he goes to buy himself a drink, but then doesn’t buy you one does that mean he doesn’t like you? Who decided upon these social rules and rituals anyways? They are confusing, and I don’t like them. I spend way too much time thinking about this stuff.
I’m socially flawed if you didn’t know. I’m not one of those women who need constant attention. I’m not one of those twirling the hair and batting the eyelashes women who casually touches a guy’s arm during a conversation. I don’t know how to be that woman. It’s not how I’m accustomed to interacting with other people, and it probably wouldn’t come across as natural if I somehow remembered to behave that way. My other big problem is that I have vast knowledge on a lot of different topics. I love to read, and I love to research really random things for fun. I like learning. If someone gets me started talking about one of these random topics I like, I switch into encyclopedia mode. My brain makes a shift to start rattling off information. I’ll stop myself at times and think “what the heck am I doing”. It is borderline embarrassing. Basically the main problem is I want a boyfriend/friend. Friends understand that their friends have quirks and find those quirks endearing. I think that’s where college dating is so much easier because a friendship can evolve into a relationship. That seems to be much more difficult to accomplish in the adult world. I want a friend who I find completely attractive and who I am totally comfortable being myself around to just up and realize one day that they are head over heels for me. This unfortunately does not exist in my world. I’ll just have to figure out how to go about dating like everyone else.
I am now 22 (happy birthday to me), and I am still very much single. By the way - I went to a wedding, again, by myself. I'm pretty much the only single one left in my age group. At least when I do get into a relationship I completely know who I am, what my goals are, and what I want out of life. That has to be a positive thing.
-SJ
Sunday, February 14, 2010
On this day in which I don't celebrate...
Ah, yes. Today is the day that some celebrate, specifically people with stock in greeting card companies. You know things are off to a great start when your parents get you a Twilight themed card. Let me rephrase that, things are off to a very single start. I might indulge in purchasing discount flowers tomorrow though. I spent the day with my favorite single girl, Sally. We browsed the dating website, we discussed our dating website strange conversations, and overall had a great time. There was chocolate involved, and Starbucks. The fundraiser is coming up this week. There is a small part of me that hopes some single attractive guy will be there because I have quite the dress to wear. It’s always nice to dress up when you feel like someone is looking.
Cynical journalist has faded into the background. This may be the last time I mention him. I did send him one more message, but still have not heard a thing back. He still looks at my dating profile. I don’t get it, and I cannot explain it. I put a new addition to my profile explaining – “Please do not be intimidated by the fact that I'm ambitious, or that I'm a "good girl". Most likely, I'd really like to talk to you. If you send me a couple of messages, and we seem to be getting along - ask me out already (if you live in the vicinity). I'm on this site for a reason.” Yeah, that was pretty much aimed at cynical journalist. You think he’ll read it? I’m sure he won’t ask me to go out for coffee.
This has lead to a whole different realm of problems. Lots, and I mean lots, of people are starting to send me messages. Now I feel obligated to respond because I stated I was nice. The last thing I need is another 1 star rating from someone who felt irritated by my lack of response. Two people in one night stated they wanted to meet me. One was a 32 year old from Chicago – Chicago guy. He knows about the blog – hi there! See, I didn’t use your screen name. The other is someone that messaged me before. This is Radio Shack guy. He claims he is in college, and he is not. He claims he likes theatre, and he can’t name a show. I don’t know why these people just lie through these conversations and in their profiles. I am a lie detector master. I’m also resourceful, and with that even Sally is impressed. I figured out that this law guy that I’ve been talking to here or there went to college with her. Yeah, I’m that good. Radio Shack guy wants to meet me for coffee. Maybe it is good experience. This will never go anywhere. He just sent me a message as I type this saying he forgot my first name. I’m shaking my head while saying “oy vey”.
I think the type of guy I’m attracted to and the type of people who are attracted to me are not the same. The people whose profiles I become fascinated with tend to look like hipsters, or just plain hippies for that matter. They usually have a picture holding some kind of musical instrument. They have a laundry list of interesting books they have read. They all listen to the same indie rock bands, especially Radiohead. Their profile is littered with ironic and sarcastic statements. They appreciate philosophy, would probably attend a protest, and ride their bikes proudly while wearing a scarf around their neck even when it's warm outside. They most likely attended some liberal arts school, but darn it all, they will throw their (insert random social science degree – anthro, psych, sociology, gender studies, etc.) to the wayside to instead play guitar on some street corner. They probably have sustainable gardens in their backyard. I don’t even know what it is about these kinds of people I like so much.
The types of guys I get messages from are highly knowledgeable in computer sciences. Many play Worlds of Warcraft or various computer games. There’s a lot of LOTR fans out there. I get contacted by the woodsy outdoorsmen types who hunt each fall and were members of the Future Farmers of America in high school. I get contacted by people who only have a high school diploma, and work at stores in the mall. I get contacted by people who like cats. I hate cats! A lot of the people are atheists too. I would never date an atheist. It’s not that any of these are horrible interests, or that some girl wouldn’t absolutely love to have a guy like the above described. I’ve attempted conversations to try and keep an open mind, but these people have nothing in common with me. It makes me wonder what draws that group to my profile, and at the same time acts as a repellent to the type of guys I do like. Cynical journalist probably wouldn’t have completely fit into the “guys I like type” category. Uh, this is terrible.
Funny non-website dating side note that I'd like to add. I frequent a specific Starbucks as I find a certain barista to be completely attractive. He never ever talks to me, and he has worked there since September. He talked to me yesterday. He asked where my mom was, and to be sure I told her that he said hello. Why me?
-SJ
Cynical journalist has faded into the background. This may be the last time I mention him. I did send him one more message, but still have not heard a thing back. He still looks at my dating profile. I don’t get it, and I cannot explain it. I put a new addition to my profile explaining – “Please do not be intimidated by the fact that I'm ambitious, or that I'm a "good girl". Most likely, I'd really like to talk to you. If you send me a couple of messages, and we seem to be getting along - ask me out already (if you live in the vicinity). I'm on this site for a reason.” Yeah, that was pretty much aimed at cynical journalist. You think he’ll read it? I’m sure he won’t ask me to go out for coffee.
This has lead to a whole different realm of problems. Lots, and I mean lots, of people are starting to send me messages. Now I feel obligated to respond because I stated I was nice. The last thing I need is another 1 star rating from someone who felt irritated by my lack of response. Two people in one night stated they wanted to meet me. One was a 32 year old from Chicago – Chicago guy. He knows about the blog – hi there! See, I didn’t use your screen name. The other is someone that messaged me before. This is Radio Shack guy. He claims he is in college, and he is not. He claims he likes theatre, and he can’t name a show. I don’t know why these people just lie through these conversations and in their profiles. I am a lie detector master. I’m also resourceful, and with that even Sally is impressed. I figured out that this law guy that I’ve been talking to here or there went to college with her. Yeah, I’m that good. Radio Shack guy wants to meet me for coffee. Maybe it is good experience. This will never go anywhere. He just sent me a message as I type this saying he forgot my first name. I’m shaking my head while saying “oy vey”.
I think the type of guy I’m attracted to and the type of people who are attracted to me are not the same. The people whose profiles I become fascinated with tend to look like hipsters, or just plain hippies for that matter. They usually have a picture holding some kind of musical instrument. They have a laundry list of interesting books they have read. They all listen to the same indie rock bands, especially Radiohead. Their profile is littered with ironic and sarcastic statements. They appreciate philosophy, would probably attend a protest, and ride their bikes proudly while wearing a scarf around their neck even when it's warm outside. They most likely attended some liberal arts school, but darn it all, they will throw their (insert random social science degree – anthro, psych, sociology, gender studies, etc.) to the wayside to instead play guitar on some street corner. They probably have sustainable gardens in their backyard. I don’t even know what it is about these kinds of people I like so much.
The types of guys I get messages from are highly knowledgeable in computer sciences. Many play Worlds of Warcraft or various computer games. There’s a lot of LOTR fans out there. I get contacted by the woodsy outdoorsmen types who hunt each fall and were members of the Future Farmers of America in high school. I get contacted by people who only have a high school diploma, and work at stores in the mall. I get contacted by people who like cats. I hate cats! A lot of the people are atheists too. I would never date an atheist. It’s not that any of these are horrible interests, or that some girl wouldn’t absolutely love to have a guy like the above described. I’ve attempted conversations to try and keep an open mind, but these people have nothing in common with me. It makes me wonder what draws that group to my profile, and at the same time acts as a repellent to the type of guys I do like. Cynical journalist probably wouldn’t have completely fit into the “guys I like type” category. Uh, this is terrible.
Funny non-website dating side note that I'd like to add. I frequent a specific Starbucks as I find a certain barista to be completely attractive. He never ever talks to me, and he has worked there since September. He talked to me yesterday. He asked where my mom was, and to be sure I told her that he said hello. Why me?
-SJ
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