You know the title of my blog? Dating for the clueless… I am learning more and more that this is completely true. I’m clueless! It’s been a week since I last posted. I honestly don’t know where that time went. I’ve completely given up on the first dating website I was on. I’ve exhausted all possibilities, even the foreign guys. I still get messages here or there, but along the lines of just “hi” or “you're really hot for a redhead”. Nothing promising. The funniest thing is that I’m starting to notice the same people from that website on the other website. I did look to see if there was a dating website for starving artists. There is, but it is pretty empty. I suppose “starving artist” might imply that they can’t afford the internet, or a place to live.
I get comments here or there, and I want to thank Amy for her kind words. I think just in general for dating we all need to find someone who accepts us regardless. Each person has their own quirks. My quirks are health related. A few different on-line people have sent me messages stating that they are intimidated by my profile, or they think I’m too good for them. Literally, people will start off their message “It’s clear you’re probably way too good for me…”. I looked over my profile, and I don’t know what to change. It sounds like I’m a nice person, but it also sounds like I’m a focused person, which I am. I think I’m one of those people you need to meet in person. It’s easy for me to make friends, so I think I’d have better luck if I actually met one of these on-line guys. I just have no clue how to go about that.
I had an instant message conversation with one guy tonight. The conversation was so dead it deserved its own obituary. We’ll call him non-profit guy. Non-profit guy is currently in the process of getting a master's in religion. He was an actor until he injured his leg, and wasn’t able to be in theatre for a while. He decided at that point to get his masters degree, and he wants to spend his life working for a non-profit. Doesn’t this sound promising? The conversation was so awful. We didn’t click at all. It just goes to show that you can have a lot in common, but that can mean absolutely nothing in terms of compatibility.
That brings us to cynical journalist. I don’t understand! I hear from him about once a week. I’m friends with him on facebook now. I sent him a short message of “what is the deciding factor as to whether we talk again”. He sent me a message back. I guess he got the go-ahead to do a freelance story on my non-profit. I’m beginning to feel like a great storyline, and not a great dating prospect. This is something that has to be clarified ASAP. He also told me of a traffic violation which he thought was apparently a deal breaker. Do I seem that judgmental? He instant messaged me right after he sent the message, and we talked for a while. I really like talking to him. He joked about having to get nice clothes to come to the fundraiser I’m holding. I would like to meet him before the fundraiser, if he plans to attend. I'll have no time that night to chat with him. He said he wanted to meet some weekend. The next day I sent him a message saying I’d be at a certain place hanging up posters, and that lunch or coffee might be nice. I haven’t heard back from him since then. Why does he keep saying he wants to meet me? Is it just to write the newspaper story? He checked out my on-line dating profile twice today. What does that mean?
I plan to feature advice given to me by some of my friends. My first friend offering advice would like to be known as Eva Mendel. She has some health problems too. Eva was telling me that her health problems bother her more than they do her boyfriend. Her boyfriend believes that something could happen to any one of us at any point (which it could), so there is no reason for health issues to be the deal breaker in a potentially great relationship. Eva told me that in general I need to put myself out there more. Otherwise I’ll always wonder what if I had done things differently. This is appropriate advice because I really don’t like putting myself out there.
The following is a direct quote from Eva about my concern that my profile is leading people to feel like they are not good enough to date me… “You do not give the impression that you are too good for someone. I think that what they mean is that you are a selfless person who is striving for great things. People think that they will not measure up to all that you have done. They feel that they won't live up to the caring, beautiful, intelligent person that you are. I don't think they mean it in a bad way like you are putting yourself in a position where you think that you are better than them. You have never given off that impression. Quite the opposite. You are grounded, know what you want, and will go great lengths to achieve your goal. Sometimes that makes people feel that that you are too good for them. Don't take it in a bad way. Take it as more of a compliment. It’s their problem, I guess, not yours.”
Wow! I never thought of things like that. I also have amazing friends. Thanks to Eva for the kind words and great insight!
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