The case with on-line dating, supposedly, is that at times something better comes along than the person you are talking to. I’ve never had this happen to me. I can multi-task the conversations. I’m assuming the “next best thing” tends to apply to the men, and who they decide to contact. I’m worried that might be the case with the cynical journalist. I’m seriously putting assumptions on this. I’m a terrible person for patience, and I am actively working on that. People have lives and are busy.
It started with cynical journalist saying that he would like to meet me. Absolutely! I gave him my phone number. I would like to talk to him on the phone first before meeting him, if only just to arrange the (kind of?) date. He ended up instant messaging me that night. We had a very long instant message conversation. He seemed surprised that two people who had never met would have so much to talk about. I was equally shocked.
It gets so much better. I’ve been telling him about this non-profit I started up last May. There is a fundraiser coming up in February. He is very interested in the whole thing. Not even a feigned interest. It’s a definite real interest in what I am doing. I finally told him the organization’s name. He went to the website and said he liked it. He read my bio, and he said it made him feel that he hasn’t accomplished a lot. That’s terrible. That last thing I want is a nice potentially date-able guy to be intimidated by my accomplishments. He starts throwing out ideas of places to hang posters. This is where it gets even better. He tells me he has newspaper connections that he can talk to about the fundraiser. I couldn’t believe it. This guy is near amazing! At this point I’m figuring that he must have a significant interest in getting to know me. Why would a person use their connections for just anybody? He sent out some press releases for me, and the website is already getting hits by the papers.
From there we talked over some of the creepy people on the dating websites. He has only been on the website for about a week. We talked about our dogs, and some of their funny quirks. We discovered that we both eat Cheerios in the morning. He said “I’ll look forward to talking to you again, tomorrow perhaps.” That was two days ago! I know his name, as he gave it to me. I could friend him on facebook, but I am trying to reign in my inner creeper. Because that’s creepy, right? I hope to hear from him soon. I wonder if he thought my organization was more interesting than he thought I was.
-SJ
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
The end of the musician era...
It’s the official end of musician guy. He will never be mentioned in the blog again. He really doesn’t deserve the name stunning other than I was completely stunned to discover more about him. I talked to him again on-line, and things seemed in a good place. I explained that he needed to figure out his life mess before I would ever go out with him (example – divorce finalized first). For goodness sakes, get a duplex too instead of living in the same house with her.
I wondered last night just how many dating websites he was on. I decided to Google his on-line screen name. Wow, did I find stuff. He has been on at least four to five different websites since 2006! He misrepresents himself on every single website. He gives different ages, different marital statuses, etc. It’s like completely different personas for each one. One website was just looking for various degrees of hooking up (sometimes with multiple people). Did I mention he apparently has a daughter too? It’s his own fault he married to help someone get their green card. That’s no reason to be a man-whore. I don’t care how doting of a father he claims to be, I feel awful for those children. Maybe I’m a bit naive, but I never would have guessed. He’s off my AIM list and deleted out of my cell phone. Great, now I have to ask people if they are married. I just heard on TV that 1/3 of on-line dating people are married. Beautiful face or not, musician guy is not a beautiful person.
As I’m typing, I’m pretty sure that someone is trying to pick me up on facebook. Weird! I’ve never had someone randomly message me. This guy knows someone that I know. He wrote me a whole paragraph. I’m not big on friending random people though, even if they do know other people I know. The dating websites are, well, the same. Nothing has really piqued my interests. I’ve actually come across a few guys that would be perfect for Sally. I’ve forwarded on their screen names to her. At least one of us needs to find a guy. I’m still talking to the Irish guy. Apparently he is finishing his BA and not PhD. It seems that people really do get the education level thing confused. He’s been telling me about his final school project film that he has been working on.
Did I mention I sort of got asked out on a date? I did! This would be my first on-line date. It’s the cynical journalist! He said he wanted to meet up, and I gave him my phone number. He even apologized on the day he didn’t send me a message which was not necessary, but definitely pretty nice. We both took a personality test, and both came back as being a hippie. He is splendidly sarcastic, and generally just interesting. We graduated from the same college too. He seems to know what he wants to do with his life. Also, he has not called me gorgeous, hot, cute, beautiful, etc… I see that as a plus. So far the guys who have said that immediately have turned out to be sketchy.
-SJ
I wondered last night just how many dating websites he was on. I decided to Google his on-line screen name. Wow, did I find stuff. He has been on at least four to five different websites since 2006! He misrepresents himself on every single website. He gives different ages, different marital statuses, etc. It’s like completely different personas for each one. One website was just looking for various degrees of hooking up (sometimes with multiple people). Did I mention he apparently has a daughter too? It’s his own fault he married to help someone get their green card. That’s no reason to be a man-whore. I don’t care how doting of a father he claims to be, I feel awful for those children. Maybe I’m a bit naive, but I never would have guessed. He’s off my AIM list and deleted out of my cell phone. Great, now I have to ask people if they are married. I just heard on TV that 1/3 of on-line dating people are married. Beautiful face or not, musician guy is not a beautiful person.
As I’m typing, I’m pretty sure that someone is trying to pick me up on facebook. Weird! I’ve never had someone randomly message me. This guy knows someone that I know. He wrote me a whole paragraph. I’m not big on friending random people though, even if they do know other people I know. The dating websites are, well, the same. Nothing has really piqued my interests. I’ve actually come across a few guys that would be perfect for Sally. I’ve forwarded on their screen names to her. At least one of us needs to find a guy. I’m still talking to the Irish guy. Apparently he is finishing his BA and not PhD. It seems that people really do get the education level thing confused. He’s been telling me about his final school project film that he has been working on.
Did I mention I sort of got asked out on a date? I did! This would be my first on-line date. It’s the cynical journalist! He said he wanted to meet up, and I gave him my phone number. He even apologized on the day he didn’t send me a message which was not necessary, but definitely pretty nice. We both took a personality test, and both came back as being a hippie. He is splendidly sarcastic, and generally just interesting. We graduated from the same college too. He seems to know what he wants to do with his life. Also, he has not called me gorgeous, hot, cute, beautiful, etc… I see that as a plus. So far the guys who have said that immediately have turned out to be sketchy.
-SJ
Sunday, January 24, 2010
"No one's got it all..."
I talked to stunning musician guy on the phone. Complete and utter failure. I’m pretty sure my words weren’t even audible. I wasn’t expecting he was going to call, and technically he didn’t mean to call me (to be explained). I got extremely nervous. I haven’t done the “talking on the phone” thing since probably middle school. I was a phone talking pro back then. I could not breathe well the entire time I was talking to him. This has never happened. My face flushed, and still has yet to become normal in tone even though about a half hour has gone by. There was way too much nervous laughter on my part. Not to mention saying cool like every other word. I hope he reads this so I can apologize for being an awkward human being. I’m not even shy. What the heck?
How did he end up calling me? His iPhone literally called me all by itself. It’s a plus that I’m actually programmed in his phone, but the intent to call me was not his own. I don’t think it was a good time to talk. He had to hang up and call back about three times… calling after his son, running into other parents. That’s not a problem. He’s making BANANA muffins today. My mind was going into anaphylactic shock just hearing about it. I guess he was married. The details on this are kind of vague and confusing. Something about a green card. He still lives with her! I’m glad I was sitting down because the room started fading to black. I had to focus on not passing out. This is not a good situation. I’m a good girl. Not a potential home wrecker. I like the creative aspect of musicians, but I'm not out to find a bad boy (man, I guess). If you know my life, you know it has its own forms of mess. I don't need someone else's mess too. I clearly need to ask more questions. I’m horrified and slightly devastated. On-line dating is misleading.
I’m finally talking to someone on the other website. We’ll call him cynical journalist. He is 23 and went to school for journalism, hence the name. He just got out of a three year relationship last year. What is with all these guys and these crazy long term relationships at such a young age? I’m slightly surprised by it. His life goal is to be a crime-solving journalist. It reminds me of the mystery books I’ve been reading recently. He likes pineapple pizza and Jack Kerouac. I approve! He has a dog that he goes running with, and plays guitar in his free time. Our letters to each other are extremely long because we are both writers and get lost in thought. We’ve talked about travelling, and about how he can get more involved in volunteering. This is probably the most promising person thus far.
I’m still talking to the foreigners. They are still great to talk to. That one Swedish guy with the great profile got back to me. He told me all men from Sweden are pretty amazing. He’s promoting the entire country which is so funny and cute.
Alright everyone, I’m going to go listen to music and do things that do not consist of on-line dating. I hate to have such a short post, but the skanky musician guy thing threw me for a loop. I’ll be fine. Hope everyone else is having a great weekend!
-SJ
(Note from iPod playlist – “Hero” by Regina Spektor)
How did he end up calling me? His iPhone literally called me all by itself. It’s a plus that I’m actually programmed in his phone, but the intent to call me was not his own. I don’t think it was a good time to talk. He had to hang up and call back about three times… calling after his son, running into other parents. That’s not a problem. He’s making BANANA muffins today. My mind was going into anaphylactic shock just hearing about it. I guess he was married. The details on this are kind of vague and confusing. Something about a green card. He still lives with her! I’m glad I was sitting down because the room started fading to black. I had to focus on not passing out. This is not a good situation. I’m a good girl. Not a potential home wrecker. I like the creative aspect of musicians, but I'm not out to find a bad boy (man, I guess). If you know my life, you know it has its own forms of mess. I don't need someone else's mess too. I clearly need to ask more questions. I’m horrified and slightly devastated. On-line dating is misleading.
I’m finally talking to someone on the other website. We’ll call him cynical journalist. He is 23 and went to school for journalism, hence the name. He just got out of a three year relationship last year. What is with all these guys and these crazy long term relationships at such a young age? I’m slightly surprised by it. His life goal is to be a crime-solving journalist. It reminds me of the mystery books I’ve been reading recently. He likes pineapple pizza and Jack Kerouac. I approve! He has a dog that he goes running with, and plays guitar in his free time. Our letters to each other are extremely long because we are both writers and get lost in thought. We’ve talked about travelling, and about how he can get more involved in volunteering. This is probably the most promising person thus far.
I’m still talking to the foreigners. They are still great to talk to. That one Swedish guy with the great profile got back to me. He told me all men from Sweden are pretty amazing. He’s promoting the entire country which is so funny and cute.
Alright everyone, I’m going to go listen to music and do things that do not consist of on-line dating. I hate to have such a short post, but the skanky musician guy thing threw me for a loop. I’ll be fine. Hope everyone else is having a great weekend!
-SJ
(Note from iPod playlist – “Hero” by Regina Spektor)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
A Tragic Lesson on How Not to Talk to Guys
Sally and I went out last night. We didn’t want to be out too late. We should’ve had a set plan as to where we were going. We knew certain streets were supposed to be pretty interesting. Sally wore a pink halter dress with silver tights and black heels that were probably about three inches tall. I had on a black and grey mini dress that I bought in LA. I love BCBG. The outfit was completed with purple tights (yes, purple – don’t judge me because I like color) and grey heels.
First problem was that we got lost. I’m not kidding. We were driving around for at least an hour. I’m not an “ask for directions” kind of girl. I just assume I’ll find wherever I’m going eventually. This is probably one of my most annoying habits. Hopefully some guy will find it endearing. The bar people knew we were going out and hid all of the good bars! Lights off guys, they’re on their way! Good girls can’t find the good bars when they actually want to go out. The non-restaurant bars were empty. We asked a bell-hop at a hotel where the best places to go were. We pretended we weren’t from the area. He gave us some suggestions. The first funny moment of the night was when Sally thought she was opening a door to a bar, and it was really a closed hair salon. We went to my favorite Cuban restaurant to have what would turn out to be the only drink of the night.
The place was packed. The door guy from the restaurant took an interest in me, and told people to move from their spots at the bar so we could sit down. He also winked at me. I told Sally it was probably because my dress was so short that with just my jacket, I looked like I literally had only tights on. I got a mojito (with probably half a rum bottle) and Sally got sangria (really light on the orange juice). They were giving everyone complimentary banana chips and guacamole. We asked if they had any tortilla chips, and they didn’t. The bartender asked why we didn’t want banana chips, and I explained I’m allergic to bananas and avocado (kiwi and chestnuts too). He was fascinated by this concept, and asked me to tell him the story of how I became allergic. What? I ate bananas one day and ended up in the hospital when I was 19. Not too exciting. We ordered french fries, and decided after the fact that we should have ordered dessert.
There were these girls sitting next to us that kept complaining about how strong their drinks were. I found it irritating. They were complaining to anyone who would listen. I may or may not have said to Sally “Stupid hoes can’t handle their stupid strong drinks. The bartender was just being nice.”We decided to leave to search for better places. The smartest thing about the Cuban place was that the barstools were weighted down. Sally helped me walk across the street. I walk into walls sober so I wasn’t taking any chances especially with high heels and ice. Sally now calls me a guppy because I am definitely not a fish.
We went back to the hotel because I wanted a cappuccino. We went to the lounge and it was all forty-somethings. This guy who was maybe 30-ish pretended he worked there. He was the most attractive person in the entire place. It was bad enough that it was just Sally and I, since they say going out in threes is better. Well we wanted to find a place to sit down first, and laughed off the flirting attempt on his part. We sat on a couch way to the back far away from cute guy. I badly wanted to lie down just because there was a couch and it seemed like a good idea. I didn’t though. Next thing I know Sally is complaining about her bra being uncomfortable. This is the point of the night where sober Sally takes her bra off in the middle of a hotel bar. I kept mine on. I decided that we needed to go to the table where cute guy was. I felt like taking initiative. Halfway through the bar we discovered there was a girl at the table with the guys. At that point we retreated. We moved forward eventually to sit in the middle of the bar. Sally ordered an entire pie desert. We sat at a table with only two chairs. Cute guy never returned. If you ignore a guy because you want to lie on a couch, he will never come back. Epic fail.
Some time passed, and we went in search of a club. We entered this one club, and it was full of women. Women grouped by the bar. Women dancing in the middle of the room grabbing each other’s butts. We walked straight through and saw no one of interest, and then we left. From there we went to a different hotel because it was where we parked. By the way, the parking lot smelled like bacon. The lounge there turned out to be forty and fifty-somethings listening to jazz music. We took the elevator back down. We then went to what was supposed to be a rock bar. Think a failed attempt at a House of Blues. There were pictures on the walls of Bowie, Hendrix, and Morrison. It could’ve been a cool place. The bouncer was awesome. There was a three dollar cover, and people in front of us were arguing for it to be two dollars less. Two whole dollars? We meandered to the back of the bar where there was a band playing. The most attractive person there was the drummer in the band who apparently could only turn his head one direction. The entire time he played, his head was turned sharp left. It looked painful. We got hit on by a few forty-somethings. This made me question how old I look. I turned to Sally while rubbing my forehead and said “I’m trying to massage out the wrinkles.” The bouncer offered to buy us a drink. I just asked for water. My 24 year old friend, Sally, asked for a kiddie cocktail!
We eventually left to head home. While we walked across the street, a car stopped and asked if we wanted to be involved in an eight-some. No, definitely not. Sally and I then drove back to my house where we loudly sang “Benny and the Jets”. It was the best moment of the night. Next time we decided that we are going out in a different city.
Moving on to on-line guys. Stunning musician guy called me and left the most adorable voice message. I was carrying shopping bags upstairs and didn’t get to the phone in time. I could’ve kicked myself. My life is not awesome sometimes. I called back, but he didn’t answer. Maybe he’ll call again someday. I’m still talking to the two Irish guys and the one Brit. They are rather chatty too. I mean I’m getting quite amazing e-mails. They’re all so artsy. I love it!
-SJ
First problem was that we got lost. I’m not kidding. We were driving around for at least an hour. I’m not an “ask for directions” kind of girl. I just assume I’ll find wherever I’m going eventually. This is probably one of my most annoying habits. Hopefully some guy will find it endearing. The bar people knew we were going out and hid all of the good bars! Lights off guys, they’re on their way! Good girls can’t find the good bars when they actually want to go out. The non-restaurant bars were empty. We asked a bell-hop at a hotel where the best places to go were. We pretended we weren’t from the area. He gave us some suggestions. The first funny moment of the night was when Sally thought she was opening a door to a bar, and it was really a closed hair salon. We went to my favorite Cuban restaurant to have what would turn out to be the only drink of the night.
The place was packed. The door guy from the restaurant took an interest in me, and told people to move from their spots at the bar so we could sit down. He also winked at me. I told Sally it was probably because my dress was so short that with just my jacket, I looked like I literally had only tights on. I got a mojito (with probably half a rum bottle) and Sally got sangria (really light on the orange juice). They were giving everyone complimentary banana chips and guacamole. We asked if they had any tortilla chips, and they didn’t. The bartender asked why we didn’t want banana chips, and I explained I’m allergic to bananas and avocado (kiwi and chestnuts too). He was fascinated by this concept, and asked me to tell him the story of how I became allergic. What? I ate bananas one day and ended up in the hospital when I was 19. Not too exciting. We ordered french fries, and decided after the fact that we should have ordered dessert.
There were these girls sitting next to us that kept complaining about how strong their drinks were. I found it irritating. They were complaining to anyone who would listen. I may or may not have said to Sally “Stupid hoes can’t handle their stupid strong drinks. The bartender was just being nice.”We decided to leave to search for better places. The smartest thing about the Cuban place was that the barstools were weighted down. Sally helped me walk across the street. I walk into walls sober so I wasn’t taking any chances especially with high heels and ice. Sally now calls me a guppy because I am definitely not a fish.
We went back to the hotel because I wanted a cappuccino. We went to the lounge and it was all forty-somethings. This guy who was maybe 30-ish pretended he worked there. He was the most attractive person in the entire place. It was bad enough that it was just Sally and I, since they say going out in threes is better. Well we wanted to find a place to sit down first, and laughed off the flirting attempt on his part. We sat on a couch way to the back far away from cute guy. I badly wanted to lie down just because there was a couch and it seemed like a good idea. I didn’t though. Next thing I know Sally is complaining about her bra being uncomfortable. This is the point of the night where sober Sally takes her bra off in the middle of a hotel bar. I kept mine on. I decided that we needed to go to the table where cute guy was. I felt like taking initiative. Halfway through the bar we discovered there was a girl at the table with the guys. At that point we retreated. We moved forward eventually to sit in the middle of the bar. Sally ordered an entire pie desert. We sat at a table with only two chairs. Cute guy never returned. If you ignore a guy because you want to lie on a couch, he will never come back. Epic fail.
Some time passed, and we went in search of a club. We entered this one club, and it was full of women. Women grouped by the bar. Women dancing in the middle of the room grabbing each other’s butts. We walked straight through and saw no one of interest, and then we left. From there we went to a different hotel because it was where we parked. By the way, the parking lot smelled like bacon. The lounge there turned out to be forty and fifty-somethings listening to jazz music. We took the elevator back down. We then went to what was supposed to be a rock bar. Think a failed attempt at a House of Blues. There were pictures on the walls of Bowie, Hendrix, and Morrison. It could’ve been a cool place. The bouncer was awesome. There was a three dollar cover, and people in front of us were arguing for it to be two dollars less. Two whole dollars? We meandered to the back of the bar where there was a band playing. The most attractive person there was the drummer in the band who apparently could only turn his head one direction. The entire time he played, his head was turned sharp left. It looked painful. We got hit on by a few forty-somethings. This made me question how old I look. I turned to Sally while rubbing my forehead and said “I’m trying to massage out the wrinkles.” The bouncer offered to buy us a drink. I just asked for water. My 24 year old friend, Sally, asked for a kiddie cocktail!
We eventually left to head home. While we walked across the street, a car stopped and asked if we wanted to be involved in an eight-some. No, definitely not. Sally and I then drove back to my house where we loudly sang “Benny and the Jets”. It was the best moment of the night. Next time we decided that we are going out in a different city.
Moving on to on-line guys. Stunning musician guy called me and left the most adorable voice message. I was carrying shopping bags upstairs and didn’t get to the phone in time. I could’ve kicked myself. My life is not awesome sometimes. I called back, but he didn’t answer. Maybe he’ll call again someday. I’m still talking to the two Irish guys and the one Brit. They are rather chatty too. I mean I’m getting quite amazing e-mails. They’re all so artsy. I love it!
-SJ
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Stealing my way into the steel industry.
Today I’m fed up with the on-line dating scene. Maybe I’m just having an off day. I looked at the list of people that have contacted me. 90 people on one site, and 5 on the other site that I have just joined. Do I have a problem? This doesn’t even include the now around 20 people that I have contacted. Some of the people I have contacted I am still talking to here or there. That’s a lot of people. I’m literally running out of locals. I’ve been keeping tabs on the “new people” page. I have encountered about eight or so people that I would’ve gone out on a date with. Either they don’t live anywhere close by to go on a date, or things just kind of didn’t continue to that point. There are maybe two people whom I am still hoping I will meet.
I know there are books out there circulating that say people should just settle. I don’t want to settle! I shouldn’t have to settle. That would just be unfair to the other person. I wouldn’t want someone to settle for me. It’s like the messages I get where people tell me that I’m attractive for a red head. Can’t I just be attractive? I have no qualms with deleting the “hey baby” messages or some of the other strange ones I’ve posted below. The deleted people were clearly not interested in dating. They probably would be ok knowing me (biblically speaking) for one day, and that’s not ok with me. Some guy today sent me a message about how he was sure he would make my Valentine’s Day special. How would that happen? I dislike Valentine’s Day and it is not just because I’m single. I have traumatic memories from fifth grade (I was eight years old), and I gave a boy a box of chocolates which he threw in the garbage. My future boyfriend is completely off the hook. That holiday doesn’t even exist on my calendar.
I would like to address some of the comments I have received. Morgan, I am so happy things worked out well for you! You were spot on with the website. I appreciate your encouragement. I know someone is out there. I just have to find them first.
Next, to the anonymous poster. First of all, I know exactly who you are. Pretty much because I have magical powers. Please stop sipping the haterade. This blog is all in good fun. I would never ever count someone out of the potential dating group for a single typo, or two, or three. My response to that one guy spelling weirdo wrong was just because he had been already calling me a list of quite grotesque names. A girl doesn’t deserve to be called names. Yes, I hit two e’s instead of an ea for stealing. Oh well. Are you also aware that I use fragment sentences quite often? If my “friends” feel like judging me, so be it. Even published authors have editors for a reason. What I don’t understand is that a person’s profile is the first glimpse of who that person is. When I talk about spelling things, it’s mostly from the people who literally spell every single word wrong. It shows a lack of effort. It’s like the people who do not upload pictures and think they will still get dates. I would never think someone was a liar for how they spell. I don’t quite know where you got that from. Where did I even mention liars? I pay attention to language and words because I’m a writer. I like reading words and I like writing words. Come on, have a sense of humor. Litten was pretty funny.
I am currently talking to the most adorable 20 year old possibly on the history of the planet. He is not my type, but I’m open to talking to people if they seem nice. I only flat-out refuse to talk to offensive people. After the second sentence in our chat, he asked if I would meet him. I politely refused, and said it was way too soon. I had only said “hello” and “how are you”. He apologized and said he always ends up in trouble by wanting to meet girls too soon. He said he just can’t believe he is almost 21 and still single. I made a few jokes about how he is almost middle aged. It’s the cutest train wreck ever. I’m coaching him about how to properly talk to girls. I really hope it helps him. I may not be able to get my own date, but I do know how I would want to be talked to.
I am looking to try other dating things in addition to the on-line dating. I’m hoping going out with Sally will lead to meeting some promising people. Then Sally and I are talking about going to this mixer thing a few days before a holiday that other people celebrate at some point in February. To make it clear, I never count people out just because of a limited number of typos. I do not reply back to people who are telling me about their motel rooms. Can you blame me? The most important thing is clearly compatibility. If you can’t hold an e-mail conversation with a person, it most likely won’t work out when you meet.
-SJ
I know there are books out there circulating that say people should just settle. I don’t want to settle! I shouldn’t have to settle. That would just be unfair to the other person. I wouldn’t want someone to settle for me. It’s like the messages I get where people tell me that I’m attractive for a red head. Can’t I just be attractive? I have no qualms with deleting the “hey baby” messages or some of the other strange ones I’ve posted below. The deleted people were clearly not interested in dating. They probably would be ok knowing me (biblically speaking) for one day, and that’s not ok with me. Some guy today sent me a message about how he was sure he would make my Valentine’s Day special. How would that happen? I dislike Valentine’s Day and it is not just because I’m single. I have traumatic memories from fifth grade (I was eight years old), and I gave a boy a box of chocolates which he threw in the garbage. My future boyfriend is completely off the hook. That holiday doesn’t even exist on my calendar.
I would like to address some of the comments I have received. Morgan, I am so happy things worked out well for you! You were spot on with the website. I appreciate your encouragement. I know someone is out there. I just have to find them first.
Next, to the anonymous poster. First of all, I know exactly who you are. Pretty much because I have magical powers. Please stop sipping the haterade. This blog is all in good fun. I would never ever count someone out of the potential dating group for a single typo, or two, or three. My response to that one guy spelling weirdo wrong was just because he had been already calling me a list of quite grotesque names. A girl doesn’t deserve to be called names. Yes, I hit two e’s instead of an ea for stealing. Oh well. Are you also aware that I use fragment sentences quite often? If my “friends” feel like judging me, so be it. Even published authors have editors for a reason. What I don’t understand is that a person’s profile is the first glimpse of who that person is. When I talk about spelling things, it’s mostly from the people who literally spell every single word wrong. It shows a lack of effort. It’s like the people who do not upload pictures and think they will still get dates. I would never think someone was a liar for how they spell. I don’t quite know where you got that from. Where did I even mention liars? I pay attention to language and words because I’m a writer. I like reading words and I like writing words. Come on, have a sense of humor. Litten was pretty funny.
I am currently talking to the most adorable 20 year old possibly on the history of the planet. He is not my type, but I’m open to talking to people if they seem nice. I only flat-out refuse to talk to offensive people. After the second sentence in our chat, he asked if I would meet him. I politely refused, and said it was way too soon. I had only said “hello” and “how are you”. He apologized and said he always ends up in trouble by wanting to meet girls too soon. He said he just can’t believe he is almost 21 and still single. I made a few jokes about how he is almost middle aged. It’s the cutest train wreck ever. I’m coaching him about how to properly talk to girls. I really hope it helps him. I may not be able to get my own date, but I do know how I would want to be talked to.
I am looking to try other dating things in addition to the on-line dating. I’m hoping going out with Sally will lead to meeting some promising people. Then Sally and I are talking about going to this mixer thing a few days before a holiday that other people celebrate at some point in February. To make it clear, I never count people out just because of a limited number of typos. I do not reply back to people who are telling me about their motel rooms. Can you blame me? The most important thing is clearly compatibility. If you can’t hold an e-mail conversation with a person, it most likely won’t work out when you meet.
-SJ
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Travelling is my favourite! Un café, por favor!
Language is interesting. It’s sometimes hard to believe all of the different variations on the English language. I’ve discovered this recently when I started talking to some Brits and Irishmen. I would like to retract my previous statement saying that there was nothing interesting going on in that portion of the world. I’ve talked to at least five people from England or Ireland. It is my plan to figure out why some people go by English and others British. I’m of English/British decent, and I’m never sure which one to say. A whole quarter actually. We hopped on the Mayflower (or some other similar boat around that time) and never looked back. Back to the language bit. There are some words that are spelled differently or places referred to by different names between their English and our English. Example – grey (gray), favourite (favorite), socialising (socializing), or cinema (movie theatres). Do I spell these words the American way, or do I spell them how I know they spell them and appear like a complete Anglophile?
The Irish guy I talked to is getting a PhD in film making. In his profile he said he would propose to a girl on the spot if he found out she listened to Nick Drake. I asked him if it counted that I had a few Nick Drake songs on my iPod. He said his initial thought with that statement was about a girl playing a Nick Drake record, but he said he may have to update his preferences to go with the latest technology. He also admits to being a night owl like me. The best part of his profile – “Everyone should give time to help others”.
My favorite Brit has a PhD and lives in Denmark. My initial message was very simple – “have you ever thought about moving to the US”. He liked the message! He said it started his day off with a smile, and now he seems kind of interested. He had mentioned that he wanted to travel and see different places. I figured the US would be great for him, especially because he could then meet me. He likes movies, museums, music, and lots of other things that I really like. He speaks whatever language they speak in Denmark, which is pretty impressive. He said he has always wanted to experience different cultures, and America would be an interesting one. This made me laugh since I’ve never thought of America as being a different culture.
I in no way think that contacting these guys from different countries is a bad idea. I have an amazing neighbor who lives next door. Her parents are Italian and immigrated to Canada. She is a great cook! She met her husband on-line. She told me this past week when she made me cinnamon rolls and espresso for breakfast (I am blessed!) about her on-line dating experiences. Apparently when she talked to her future husband, he thought she was living in Arizona. He went to Arizona every few weeks for business. She’s not sure how he got confused, but at the time she was living in Quebec. She moved to the states, and it’s all happily ever after. I guess with these foreign guys I can send e-mails through the dating website, maybe eventually IM, and then there is always Skype. If they become very interested, they can always hop on a plane to America. I mean, these guys claim to like travelling. One claims to like cupcakes. I just had to throw that in. Sprinkles red velvet cupcakes are magical. Sprinkles over Magnolia’s hands down. Sorry New Yorkers!
I know guys can be confusing sometimes, but stunning musician guy has taken it to a whole new level of confusing. He wouldn’t tell me his “life story” because facebook chat would just take too long. Ok then. I want to clarify that a life story to him means anything about himself. He said he was going to call me. We’ve gone over this, right? So today he contacts me again, and I just don’t get it. He mentioned he just woke up and was making French press coffee, and that he wishes I was there. I wish I was there too. I seriously needed some coffee right about at that moment. Eh, mornings. Plus I would’ve liked to look at his beautiful face at that moment too. I gave him a hard time about not calling me, but I was keeping it light and funny. He said he got busy, and I get that. Especially with a little one. Then he said he was going to jump in the shower and call me after. Don’t say you’re going to call me again, and then again not call me. Is there some reason he keeps telling me he will call? It’s not like I ask him to call me. The phone thing is all his idea. Our conversations aren’t even complete conversations because I hardly know a thing about him. I hinted about my blog hoping he would read it, but the guy cannot take a hint. I can guarantee you that he will be contacting me again on facebook. I’d put money on it. I just don’t get him. From looking at pictures he was still with the baby-mama as of late October. Is she still in the picture? Is that why he contacts me at really random hours of the day? It’s all very strange.
-SJ
The Irish guy I talked to is getting a PhD in film making. In his profile he said he would propose to a girl on the spot if he found out she listened to Nick Drake. I asked him if it counted that I had a few Nick Drake songs on my iPod. He said his initial thought with that statement was about a girl playing a Nick Drake record, but he said he may have to update his preferences to go with the latest technology. He also admits to being a night owl like me. The best part of his profile – “Everyone should give time to help others”.
My favorite Brit has a PhD and lives in Denmark. My initial message was very simple – “have you ever thought about moving to the US”. He liked the message! He said it started his day off with a smile, and now he seems kind of interested. He had mentioned that he wanted to travel and see different places. I figured the US would be great for him, especially because he could then meet me. He likes movies, museums, music, and lots of other things that I really like. He speaks whatever language they speak in Denmark, which is pretty impressive. He said he has always wanted to experience different cultures, and America would be an interesting one. This made me laugh since I’ve never thought of America as being a different culture.
I in no way think that contacting these guys from different countries is a bad idea. I have an amazing neighbor who lives next door. Her parents are Italian and immigrated to Canada. She is a great cook! She met her husband on-line. She told me this past week when she made me cinnamon rolls and espresso for breakfast (I am blessed!) about her on-line dating experiences. Apparently when she talked to her future husband, he thought she was living in Arizona. He went to Arizona every few weeks for business. She’s not sure how he got confused, but at the time she was living in Quebec. She moved to the states, and it’s all happily ever after. I guess with these foreign guys I can send e-mails through the dating website, maybe eventually IM, and then there is always Skype. If they become very interested, they can always hop on a plane to America. I mean, these guys claim to like travelling. One claims to like cupcakes. I just had to throw that in. Sprinkles red velvet cupcakes are magical. Sprinkles over Magnolia’s hands down. Sorry New Yorkers!
I know guys can be confusing sometimes, but stunning musician guy has taken it to a whole new level of confusing. He wouldn’t tell me his “life story” because facebook chat would just take too long. Ok then. I want to clarify that a life story to him means anything about himself. He said he was going to call me. We’ve gone over this, right? So today he contacts me again, and I just don’t get it. He mentioned he just woke up and was making French press coffee, and that he wishes I was there. I wish I was there too. I seriously needed some coffee right about at that moment. Eh, mornings. Plus I would’ve liked to look at his beautiful face at that moment too. I gave him a hard time about not calling me, but I was keeping it light and funny. He said he got busy, and I get that. Especially with a little one. Then he said he was going to jump in the shower and call me after. Don’t say you’re going to call me again, and then again not call me. Is there some reason he keeps telling me he will call? It’s not like I ask him to call me. The phone thing is all his idea. Our conversations aren’t even complete conversations because I hardly know a thing about him. I hinted about my blog hoping he would read it, but the guy cannot take a hint. I can guarantee you that he will be contacting me again on facebook. I’d put money on it. I just don’t get him. From looking at pictures he was still with the baby-mama as of late October. Is she still in the picture? Is that why he contacts me at really random hours of the day? It’s all very strange.
-SJ
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
$2175 for a one-way ticket from Italy.
Sally and I are going out on Friday. We’ll be sparkly and have coats with no items worth potentially stealing. This whole dating (or lack their of) is quite the social experiment. Oh that Sally. She suggested another dating website to me. This one is so complex. There’s instant messaging, and boxes popping up at me. The boxes are people I don’t want to talk to, but they just won’t stop talking. It provides a compatibility percentage. These people assume just because I answered a few questions about flag burning, intelligence, and other political questions that we are a match. We are so not a match.
I got into a horrible conversation with a guy tonight. Let me start off with the fact that the conversation was not my choice. I’m not even in a bad mood, but the guy was on my last nerve. I asked how he was doing to be cordial. He starts telling me how he is so lonely, and lives in a house all by his lonesome. Apparently when it gets dark outside he gets frightened. He wishes he had a girl in his bed with him. Blah, blah, blah. Really? Let me mention this guy believes in chivalry. I was irritated by his “I’m scared” bit, and said “Are you really trying to tell me I should want to date a grown man afraid of being in his own house?”. I know, I’m sorry readers. I’m currently trying to rein in my sarcasm. It gets worse! He starts calling me names which is not chivalrous! He called me a loser! Which I just could not believe. He called me a “wierdo”, and I told him he spelled the word wrong. I had to! He called me some other names, and then said he wanted to start the conversation over because we shouldn’t give up on our compatibility. I said, politely this time, no thank you especially after all the choice words he had for me. I explained that I hoped he found what he was looking for. Then he called me a pinhead! Uh… This is how 26 year olds act these days? As I’m typing this I have found an incredibly nasty message sent by him. Sir, you have officially been blocked.
I know I can be sarcastic, and some people are not ok with that. I am a nice person though. All of my friends will vouch for me. I will under no circumstances deal with being called names. This guy didn’t even know me, and he was calling me some nasty things. Loser and weirdo (ooops… wierdo), were just the beginning of it. I want to find someone to go out with, not someone to be berated by.
Still no word from stunning musician guy… I did find out that one of my good friends has played at some of the same gigs as stunning musician guy in the past. It is a small world (after all). I asked if he had heard of stunning musician guy’s name, and then eventually it clicked that I was asking him about stunning musician guy from the blog. Hurray for people actually reading this!
It has been slow on the website where people do not say nasty things to me. It appears that I’ve had some success in talking to the foreign guys. I’m moving to Europe. Even the Europeans with only a high school education have absolutely no typos in their profiles. It’s ridiculously impressive. I’ve been conversing with an Italian guy. He has crazy beautiful long dark curls. He also happens to look identical to a certain current cast member from the Broadway musical Hair. They could be twins! The Italian hippie said he had been in LA recently, but didn’t like how vapid everyone was. I told him he should check out the Midwest. He asked if it was an invitation, and I said it was a strong suggestion in the very least. How much do plane tickets from Italy to Wisconsin go for on Expedia?
Update: A guy just asked how long I've been looking for a serious relationship. The funniest thing is I'm not seeking really anything. If someone is interesting, well, then I guess they are interesting. This is the first time in a while that I don't feel awful about being the single girl. Yet here I am on these dating websites. Why am I doing this? Oh yeah, New Year's resolution. Last year was to be fearless, and this year is to date.
-SJ
I got into a horrible conversation with a guy tonight. Let me start off with the fact that the conversation was not my choice. I’m not even in a bad mood, but the guy was on my last nerve. I asked how he was doing to be cordial. He starts telling me how he is so lonely, and lives in a house all by his lonesome. Apparently when it gets dark outside he gets frightened. He wishes he had a girl in his bed with him. Blah, blah, blah. Really? Let me mention this guy believes in chivalry. I was irritated by his “I’m scared” bit, and said “Are you really trying to tell me I should want to date a grown man afraid of being in his own house?”. I know, I’m sorry readers. I’m currently trying to rein in my sarcasm. It gets worse! He starts calling me names which is not chivalrous! He called me a loser! Which I just could not believe. He called me a “wierdo”, and I told him he spelled the word wrong. I had to! He called me some other names, and then said he wanted to start the conversation over because we shouldn’t give up on our compatibility. I said, politely this time, no thank you especially after all the choice words he had for me. I explained that I hoped he found what he was looking for. Then he called me a pinhead! Uh… This is how 26 year olds act these days? As I’m typing this I have found an incredibly nasty message sent by him. Sir, you have officially been blocked.
I know I can be sarcastic, and some people are not ok with that. I am a nice person though. All of my friends will vouch for me. I will under no circumstances deal with being called names. This guy didn’t even know me, and he was calling me some nasty things. Loser and weirdo (ooops… wierdo), were just the beginning of it. I want to find someone to go out with, not someone to be berated by.
Still no word from stunning musician guy… I did find out that one of my good friends has played at some of the same gigs as stunning musician guy in the past. It is a small world (after all). I asked if he had heard of stunning musician guy’s name, and then eventually it clicked that I was asking him about stunning musician guy from the blog. Hurray for people actually reading this!
It has been slow on the website where people do not say nasty things to me. It appears that I’ve had some success in talking to the foreign guys. I’m moving to Europe. Even the Europeans with only a high school education have absolutely no typos in their profiles. It’s ridiculously impressive. I’ve been conversing with an Italian guy. He has crazy beautiful long dark curls. He also happens to look identical to a certain current cast member from the Broadway musical Hair. They could be twins! The Italian hippie said he had been in LA recently, but didn’t like how vapid everyone was. I told him he should check out the Midwest. He asked if it was an invitation, and I said it was a strong suggestion in the very least. How much do plane tickets from Italy to Wisconsin go for on Expedia?
Update: A guy just asked how long I've been looking for a serious relationship. The funniest thing is I'm not seeking really anything. If someone is interesting, well, then I guess they are interesting. This is the first time in a while that I don't feel awful about being the single girl. Yet here I am on these dating websites. Why am I doing this? Oh yeah, New Year's resolution. Last year was to be fearless, and this year is to date.
-SJ
Monday, January 18, 2010
You need a green card? Ok, I'll marry you.
He did not call. I wasn’t expecting he would. By “he” I mean stunning musician guy. I feel like I want to change his blog name. I won’t for consistency, and I cannot deny the fact that he is stunning. I was slightly irked by the lack of a phone call. Why bother telling me you will call me? Just don’t mention it. It’s not like I sat around waiting for his call. I was a busy girl today. I had a doctor appointment this morning. I told him I had a “business meeting”. Well, same thing if you think about it. After that I did a lot of work for my organization. I did send him a text though. I know, that was stupid. Regardless, I feel like he is not a very forthright person. Everything just seems a bit sketchy. He works for a hair salon (that’s not sketchy). His listed last name on facebook is not his real last name (that’s what is sketchy). Don’t tell me to Google you’re name unless you want me to find out information. I am a master of research, especially after working for the museum. I spent a lot of days finding addresses for unlisted names. Skill I tell you! Besides this, I think I have spent way too much time around guys. I can see right through sweet talking. So please, just be a real person.
I went back on the dating website today. I sent a message to the pen-pal guy. I figured why not. It’s been two weeks, and technically he was the one to message me last. I’m getting very tired of seeing the same pictures on that site. I feel like I have either deleted their messages or had a brief conversation with them at some point. I ventured into looking at guys from other countries. I should have done this weeks ago. I have decided I’m moving to Scandinavia. How’s the health care there? If you have ever been to Epcot, you know the most attractive people are in Norway–land. Apparently Swedish guys are pretty cute too. Example – Alexander Skarsgard. I checked out England and Ireland, but wasn’t too impressed. I read a few Australian profiles. I pictured their profiles being said in an Australian accent which was such a great idea. By far though, Norway and Sweden were the best.
The foreign guys seem to actually take time to fill out their profiles. A lot of thought appears to go into it. My favorite Swede wrote his profile as a missing ad for his girlfriend. It went along the lines of she’s shorter than 5’8, has a great personality, etc. It was detailed, and quite funny. I had to send him a message just to applaud his originality. It was at this point I realized I was ok with having a mail-order husband from Sweden. Almost all the profiles were that great. Come on American guys, step it up! One Norwegian had his profile entitled “I want a bad romance”, and had a strategically placed towel in his picture. I just liked the Gaga reference, but if “no shirt on” is a negative on my list then a strategically placed towel is right there with it. Funny though.
I talked to Sally tonight. We discussed maybe going out on the town. Neither of us has actually gone out in the city we live in. Isn’t that odd? The following conversation ACTUALLY HAPPENED:
Me: We should go out.
Sally: We should! We could meet real live guys.
Me: What do people wear when they go out?
Sally: I don’t know. Something sparkly maybe, but not Barbie.
Me: Like black and silver with some sequins?
Sally: That would probably be good.
Me: Hey, what do people do with their jackets?
Sally: I don’t really know. I think they take their valuables with them, and hang the coats up somewhere.
Yeah, we’re single.
-SJ
I went back on the dating website today. I sent a message to the pen-pal guy. I figured why not. It’s been two weeks, and technically he was the one to message me last. I’m getting very tired of seeing the same pictures on that site. I feel like I have either deleted their messages or had a brief conversation with them at some point. I ventured into looking at guys from other countries. I should have done this weeks ago. I have decided I’m moving to Scandinavia. How’s the health care there? If you have ever been to Epcot, you know the most attractive people are in Norway–land. Apparently Swedish guys are pretty cute too. Example – Alexander Skarsgard. I checked out England and Ireland, but wasn’t too impressed. I read a few Australian profiles. I pictured their profiles being said in an Australian accent which was such a great idea. By far though, Norway and Sweden were the best.
The foreign guys seem to actually take time to fill out their profiles. A lot of thought appears to go into it. My favorite Swede wrote his profile as a missing ad for his girlfriend. It went along the lines of she’s shorter than 5’8, has a great personality, etc. It was detailed, and quite funny. I had to send him a message just to applaud his originality. It was at this point I realized I was ok with having a mail-order husband from Sweden. Almost all the profiles were that great. Come on American guys, step it up! One Norwegian had his profile entitled “I want a bad romance”, and had a strategically placed towel in his picture. I just liked the Gaga reference, but if “no shirt on” is a negative on my list then a strategically placed towel is right there with it. Funny though.
I talked to Sally tonight. We discussed maybe going out on the town. Neither of us has actually gone out in the city we live in. Isn’t that odd? The following conversation ACTUALLY HAPPENED:
Me: We should go out.
Sally: We should! We could meet real live guys.
Me: What do people wear when they go out?
Sally: I don’t know. Something sparkly maybe, but not Barbie.
Me: Like black and silver with some sequins?
Sally: That would probably be good.
Me: Hey, what do people do with their jackets?
Sally: I don’t really know. I think they take their valuables with them, and hang the coats up somewhere.
Yeah, we’re single.
-SJ
No me gusta Casanovas!
I had to update. I friended stunning musician guy on facebook. This was such an utterly bad idea. He contacted me tonight. Not via phone, although he is supposed to call me tomorrow. He is truly beautiful, and he very much knows it. It tips things out of my favor. As long as he knows he is stunning musician guy, I am disposable. I feel like I have to continually impress him. This does not go along with the fact that I’m looking for someone who I can feel like I can be myself with.
The conversation in general with him was two parts adorable and one part crass. He called me sexy. Uh, cringe. Yeah, that was another thing on that "just say no" list I wrote not too long ago. He didn’t read the blog obviously. Then he mentioned cuddling. He really should read this blog! I told him the conversation tomorrow has to be more impressive than the on-line one. He even started speaking to me in Spanish! If I hadn’t spent so much time in Mexico, I might have been completely charmed by this on-line Casanova tactic. He seems like someone that would be fun, and that I could really get along with. I am not the local groupie though. If he wants that, I’m sure he has a line down the block just waiting. He is super cute, but I’m a pretty amazing person who he should want to get to know. I want someone with depth who is compassionate. Even though he is, well you know, I refuse to be a moth to a flame. On a positive note though, he reads. He has the sarcasm thing going for him too.
Nothing too exciting has been sent through via the dating website. I had one guy who asked me which football team I was rooting for. None. Remember, avoid sports at all costs. Ok, not at all costs. I don’t want to get massive messages breaking down any specific game. I’ll have nothing to say. He can like sports, but if he wants a sports prodigy he is not looking in the right place. Someone else contacted me about musical theatre. One guy I contacted because he had some serious make-up on in his picture. I was intrigued! Turns out he dressed up as David Bowie for Halloween. I whole heartedly approve! He is a writer by profession. This one is a definite future possibility.
The worst message this weekend was from a guy who had apparently had a series of really bad dates through the dating website. This is not my problem. He wanted me to tell him how a date with me would be any better. How am I supposed to know? I don’t even know what went wrong with the date to start with. Most likely guy, it was you.
I think I scared producer guy off. He asked me quite bluntly what I was looking for in a relationship. I answered the question, and never heard a reply back. I added the response to my on-line profile so people know right away what it is I’m looking for. I’m not looking for childish games. I have standards. So here is the profile on what I’m looking for:
I like being around smart people, but I do not like show-offs. I like people who are generally optimistic. I always see the positive things in life, and I want to be around someone who sees things the same way. I find sarcasm to be a very attractive quality. I am interested in someone who will make me smile. I want to be able to be myself, and not feel like I have to be different in order to impress someone. I'm interested in a guy I can actually have conversations with, and not feel the need to fill awkward gaps. I'm interested in someone who is dedicated to what they do, and has an idea of what they want out of life.
I’ll update after I talk to stunning (and a little sleazy) musician guy tomorrow. I’m still a bit like Pavlov’s dog, but at the same time I am a bit queasy with disgust. I’m not expecting this to go well. Substance over beauty! (Note – I almost put “beauty over substance”. Slight slip on my part. I really do mean the former though!) Although, if he surprises me, I’ll be very, very, very happy!
-SJ
The conversation in general with him was two parts adorable and one part crass. He called me sexy. Uh, cringe. Yeah, that was another thing on that "just say no" list I wrote not too long ago. He didn’t read the blog obviously. Then he mentioned cuddling. He really should read this blog! I told him the conversation tomorrow has to be more impressive than the on-line one. He even started speaking to me in Spanish! If I hadn’t spent so much time in Mexico, I might have been completely charmed by this on-line Casanova tactic. He seems like someone that would be fun, and that I could really get along with. I am not the local groupie though. If he wants that, I’m sure he has a line down the block just waiting. He is super cute, but I’m a pretty amazing person who he should want to get to know. I want someone with depth who is compassionate. Even though he is, well you know, I refuse to be a moth to a flame. On a positive note though, he reads. He has the sarcasm thing going for him too.
Nothing too exciting has been sent through via the dating website. I had one guy who asked me which football team I was rooting for. None. Remember, avoid sports at all costs. Ok, not at all costs. I don’t want to get massive messages breaking down any specific game. I’ll have nothing to say. He can like sports, but if he wants a sports prodigy he is not looking in the right place. Someone else contacted me about musical theatre. One guy I contacted because he had some serious make-up on in his picture. I was intrigued! Turns out he dressed up as David Bowie for Halloween. I whole heartedly approve! He is a writer by profession. This one is a definite future possibility.
The worst message this weekend was from a guy who had apparently had a series of really bad dates through the dating website. This is not my problem. He wanted me to tell him how a date with me would be any better. How am I supposed to know? I don’t even know what went wrong with the date to start with. Most likely guy, it was you.
I think I scared producer guy off. He asked me quite bluntly what I was looking for in a relationship. I answered the question, and never heard a reply back. I added the response to my on-line profile so people know right away what it is I’m looking for. I’m not looking for childish games. I have standards. So here is the profile on what I’m looking for:
I like being around smart people, but I do not like show-offs. I like people who are generally optimistic. I always see the positive things in life, and I want to be around someone who sees things the same way. I find sarcasm to be a very attractive quality. I am interested in someone who will make me smile. I want to be able to be myself, and not feel like I have to be different in order to impress someone. I'm interested in a guy I can actually have conversations with, and not feel the need to fill awkward gaps. I'm interested in someone who is dedicated to what they do, and has an idea of what they want out of life.
I’ll update after I talk to stunning (and a little sleazy) musician guy tomorrow. I’m still a bit like Pavlov’s dog, but at the same time I am a bit queasy with disgust. I’m not expecting this to go well. Substance over beauty! (Note – I almost put “beauty over substance”. Slight slip on my part. I really do mean the former though!) Although, if he surprises me, I’ll be very, very, very happy!
-SJ
Friday, January 15, 2010
On the left hand is my mitten, while the lighthouses get litten.
How important is spelling when trying to make a positive impression on someone? I think pretty important. I understand that people get to and too confused sometimes, but other than that spell check can solve a lot of common spelling errors. I would rank spelling as very important when someone claims to have a grad degree or a BA in English. It’s not so much about not being able to spell as it is being truthful. I’m pretty convinced though that there are people who think the grad degree education listing means they graduated high school. You would think the same if you saw their profile. It’s sad when they start off the profile saying “I’m smart”, and then spell everything wrong and have complete lack of punctuation.
As I said in the last post, my friend Sally came over last night. We watched a movie and browsed the dating website. She just got out of a brief online dating relationship. I’ll have to see if she’ll give me permission to tell small bits of her story. It’s pretty epic. We encountered some great profiles last night. By great I mean, well, you’ll see…
One guy wanted to show how philanthropic he is. I don’t remember what he listed for his occupation. Oh wait, yes I do… “it’s the shiznit”. Good for you! At least that’s better than “ask me” or “guess”. If someone puts “guess”, I always guess unemployed. His occupation was the least entertaining portion of his profile. My favorite part happened to be that he “wanted to set up an organization for kids born into failure.” What kind of failure would that be? Failure of a shiznit future job? That must be it.
The next two interesting profiles had some rather interesting spelling errors. The first guy had the word “lonly” in his screen name. The same word came up multiple times in his profile. Do you want to know how hard that word is to misspell? My auto spell check tried to change lonly to lonely multiple times over. The next guy wanted to be rather detailed on his first date suggestion by describing the scenery around the location. This location happened to have lighthouses that were litten. This prompted Sally and I to create a small rap of “on the left hand is my mitten, while the lighthouses get litten.” Yeah, we’re lyrical prodigies. I’ll give kudos for trying to create a new word.
I don’t understand why some guys go into complete detail on the first date portion. To be honest, I didn’t even fill it out. It didn’t seem to have a point. As long as it’s in a public place with an opportunity for quick exit in case things go very wrong, I’m happy. This certain guy became very carried away with his profile. There were at least eight paragraphs on his favorite topic, himself. He even updated when he changed jobs. His potential first date had three different options. Don’t worry, he updated this portion too in case the date got rained out. His first date option though was to go to a sandy beach. I’m so happy that Wisconsin happens to have multiple sandy beaches and a wonderful ocean. Per his description, the “water is warm and shallow” (just like himself – as Sally suggested). Another guy described his rather time consuming drinking habits. He actually called himself a drunk. A drunk pollack to be exact. Sally and I instantly thought beer battered fish fry.
Now it’s time for the messages that people send to me. I had a few e-mails sent from a nice Indian guy. He contacted me because he also liked the movie “The Namesake”. I told him Kal Penn is one of my favorite actors. He told me that he’s never heard of anyone who likes Kal Penn, and that “on behalf of the entire Indian community, I thank you.” I thought that was very funny. A history grad student contacted me today. He wrote three paragraphs on how he saw that I was the president of an organization, and that he likes assertive women. Specifically he likes domineering women to be the boss over him. I saved the e-mail. I plan to pull it up on bad days just to get a good laugh.
Update on stunning musician guy – I found the phone number. Success! I called him last night, but he didn’t answer. I left a message, and I’m really hoping he calls me back. Who gives out a phone number and doesn’t call people back? I hope he doesn’t do the whole “three day wait” thing. Especially since I’m way too impatient for my own good, and I don’t quite understand what the point of the three day rule is or who made it up. I’m keeping my fingers crossed on this one!
-SJ
As I said in the last post, my friend Sally came over last night. We watched a movie and browsed the dating website. She just got out of a brief online dating relationship. I’ll have to see if she’ll give me permission to tell small bits of her story. It’s pretty epic. We encountered some great profiles last night. By great I mean, well, you’ll see…
One guy wanted to show how philanthropic he is. I don’t remember what he listed for his occupation. Oh wait, yes I do… “it’s the shiznit”. Good for you! At least that’s better than “ask me” or “guess”. If someone puts “guess”, I always guess unemployed. His occupation was the least entertaining portion of his profile. My favorite part happened to be that he “wanted to set up an organization for kids born into failure.” What kind of failure would that be? Failure of a shiznit future job? That must be it.
The next two interesting profiles had some rather interesting spelling errors. The first guy had the word “lonly” in his screen name. The same word came up multiple times in his profile. Do you want to know how hard that word is to misspell? My auto spell check tried to change lonly to lonely multiple times over. The next guy wanted to be rather detailed on his first date suggestion by describing the scenery around the location. This location happened to have lighthouses that were litten. This prompted Sally and I to create a small rap of “on the left hand is my mitten, while the lighthouses get litten.” Yeah, we’re lyrical prodigies. I’ll give kudos for trying to create a new word.
I don’t understand why some guys go into complete detail on the first date portion. To be honest, I didn’t even fill it out. It didn’t seem to have a point. As long as it’s in a public place with an opportunity for quick exit in case things go very wrong, I’m happy. This certain guy became very carried away with his profile. There were at least eight paragraphs on his favorite topic, himself. He even updated when he changed jobs. His potential first date had three different options. Don’t worry, he updated this portion too in case the date got rained out. His first date option though was to go to a sandy beach. I’m so happy that Wisconsin happens to have multiple sandy beaches and a wonderful ocean. Per his description, the “water is warm and shallow” (just like himself – as Sally suggested). Another guy described his rather time consuming drinking habits. He actually called himself a drunk. A drunk pollack to be exact. Sally and I instantly thought beer battered fish fry.
Now it’s time for the messages that people send to me. I had a few e-mails sent from a nice Indian guy. He contacted me because he also liked the movie “The Namesake”. I told him Kal Penn is one of my favorite actors. He told me that he’s never heard of anyone who likes Kal Penn, and that “on behalf of the entire Indian community, I thank you.” I thought that was very funny. A history grad student contacted me today. He wrote three paragraphs on how he saw that I was the president of an organization, and that he likes assertive women. Specifically he likes domineering women to be the boss over him. I saved the e-mail. I plan to pull it up on bad days just to get a good laugh.
Update on stunning musician guy – I found the phone number. Success! I called him last night, but he didn’t answer. I left a message, and I’m really hoping he calls me back. Who gives out a phone number and doesn’t call people back? I hope he doesn’t do the whole “three day wait” thing. Especially since I’m way too impatient for my own good, and I don’t quite understand what the point of the three day rule is or who made it up. I’m keeping my fingers crossed on this one!
-SJ
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I got my teeth!
This is the post of a severely sleep deprived person. Getting four hours of sleep a night does not allow me to be creative. It just leaves me tired. However, it does allow me more time to read through random people’s profiles and to read the messages I’ve been sent. I would say I get about five to ten new messages a day. That seems about reasonable. The website claims that there are some people (less than .01%) who receive up to 100 messages. It’s kind of a disclaimer in case someone doesn’t respond back to you because clearly they are so overwhelmingly popular. Let us get in line fellow minions! I think it just makes all dating website users feel completely inadequate. Who gets 100 messages a day?
I got in over my head on a recent message. I thought I was being funny and sent this guy a message saying that Duke was infinitely better than UNC. Now he wants to discuss the players, coaches, team histories, and I’ve got nothing. Note to self – don’t bring up sports ever! In the mean time, I lost stunning musician guy’s phone number. Now I have to ask for his number if I see him on-line. Oh complications!
I came across a gold mine of funny profiles during the day. That seems to be when all of the super strange guys go looking for a girl. Hair seemed to be a common theme. I always have a constant struggle with my hair. It’s completely unruly. However, I am not bald which apparently is a big disqualifier for this one guy. He also wants a girl with a full or close to full set of teeth. Another guy states that he wants to date a girl with heavy bangs and a medium high pony tail. That’s not asking for too much is it? Alas, we cannot all be Zooey Deschanel (or be married to the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie). My favorite of the day is a guy who said “I don’t like girls who are going to fake cry at their best friend’s birthday party for attention, but I want someone immature enough to like talking about the apocalypse.” I can’t make this stuff up people.
While on a dating website, what happens if you see someone you know? Many people would probably not acknowledge the other person being on the website. You didn’t see me, you don’t know me, or something else along those lines. Not me, I send them a message! I have found three people already that I know on this site. I have no intention of dating them, but how can I not send a friendly message?
The first person I found was my former neighbor. He moved away about a month ago in an apparent bad break-up with his live-in girlfriend. He moved out and she moved to California. Yeah, ouch. I know he has chronic health issues, and I wanted to send a message to see how he was doing. I’m pretty sure he thought I was joking in the initial message, but who uses a pick-up line “you used to be my neighbor”? I think he realized after the second message that I wasn’t kidding. The second person was a guy whose name sounded familiar. It turns out that I was in a pageant with his sister when I was little. The third person was the most bizarre. I saw a picture I thought looked familiar. Sure enough, it was my best friend’s older brother. I can now say that not all women in the pictures with the profiled guy are of his ex. My best friend’s brother had a picture with only one girl in his profile, and that girl was me. I now wonder how many other people are unaware that they are in pictures on a dating site.
-SJ
I got in over my head on a recent message. I thought I was being funny and sent this guy a message saying that Duke was infinitely better than UNC. Now he wants to discuss the players, coaches, team histories, and I’ve got nothing. Note to self – don’t bring up sports ever! In the mean time, I lost stunning musician guy’s phone number. Now I have to ask for his number if I see him on-line. Oh complications!
I came across a gold mine of funny profiles during the day. That seems to be when all of the super strange guys go looking for a girl. Hair seemed to be a common theme. I always have a constant struggle with my hair. It’s completely unruly. However, I am not bald which apparently is a big disqualifier for this one guy. He also wants a girl with a full or close to full set of teeth. Another guy states that he wants to date a girl with heavy bangs and a medium high pony tail. That’s not asking for too much is it? Alas, we cannot all be Zooey Deschanel (or be married to the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie). My favorite of the day is a guy who said “I don’t like girls who are going to fake cry at their best friend’s birthday party for attention, but I want someone immature enough to like talking about the apocalypse.” I can’t make this stuff up people.
While on a dating website, what happens if you see someone you know? Many people would probably not acknowledge the other person being on the website. You didn’t see me, you don’t know me, or something else along those lines. Not me, I send them a message! I have found three people already that I know on this site. I have no intention of dating them, but how can I not send a friendly message?
The first person I found was my former neighbor. He moved away about a month ago in an apparent bad break-up with his live-in girlfriend. He moved out and she moved to California. Yeah, ouch. I know he has chronic health issues, and I wanted to send a message to see how he was doing. I’m pretty sure he thought I was joking in the initial message, but who uses a pick-up line “you used to be my neighbor”? I think he realized after the second message that I wasn’t kidding. The second person was a guy whose name sounded familiar. It turns out that I was in a pageant with his sister when I was little. The third person was the most bizarre. I saw a picture I thought looked familiar. Sure enough, it was my best friend’s older brother. I can now say that not all women in the pictures with the profiled guy are of his ex. My best friend’s brother had a picture with only one girl in his profile, and that girl was me. I now wonder how many other people are unaware that they are in pictures on a dating site.
-SJ
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Did anyone hear a bell ring?
There are things I don’t completely understand in life. One of those things is how a guy can look so attractive, and then have such a terrible occupation as self-employed snow shoveler. It’s completely disappointing to come across profiles like this. I also don’t understand the over usage of a comma. Commas are not periods, they are commas. They are also not meant to randomly interrupt sentences. Why,,,,, do people.,,, write sentences like this,,,,?
I said I would talk about the guys who I actually responded back to. It’s been few and far between. The first guy messaged me at the same time I sent him a message. He was a drummer in a band that didn’t have a name. He worked at a pharmacy. He didn’t have a college degree, which I usually consider pretty important. He sent me about six messages. It turned out he at one point lived right down the block from where I used to live. That was kind of a coincidence. He suggested we take a two hour road trip. That’s where things went wrong. I didn’t even have enough information to look him up in the circuit court system, there was no way I was being voluntarily kidnapped. Can you be voluntarily kidnapped? He told me twice in a row how attractive I apparently am. I had enough when he said “you’re so cute, I just want to hug you”. He didn’t want to hug me. He told me how passionate he is between the sheets. Our delightful conversation ended shortly after. Thank you creepy pharmacy worker for the memories!
This next guy I thought would be a real possibility. He told me about his family, where he works, his past relationships (believe me, I was shocked by this too), and a lot of other things. Fifteen e-mails! I became his friendly pen pal. I was added as his favorite. One day I decided to add him as mine. I asked if he had Skype. That’s when he stopped contacting me. I sent him a final message saying I enjoyed talking with him, etc. He wrote back within five minutes apologizing like crazy for not sending me anything. He promised he would write the next day. That was a week ago. He wasn’t hit by a bus considering he still signs on the website. I’m still bummed by this one. I feel like I wasted a lot of time. That’s a definite negative to this whole process.
I’ve only talked to a few others. I talked to a guy who takes pictures from an airplane. He really liked the outdoors. I found it amusing talking to him as I hate flying, and the outdoors and I do not mix. I couldn’t even pretend. I talked to a guy for a day who really likes trees. I’ve talked to the super-into-sports people here or there. I pretend I know something. I will state that I enjoy basketball and tennis quite a bit. I really like going to basketball games. I fill out a March Madness bracket every year, and I do very well. I’ve been to a hockey game. I’m just never going to obsessively love sports. It’s just not in me. I will never agree to watch soccer…ever. Beyond all of the sports and outdoors people, I recently have been talking to a TV producer. He seems nice. He has a dog. I’m still really mixed on this one.
I infrequently send messages out to other guys. I feel it is better if they contact me, then I at least know they are interested. Nothing is more horrible than sending a message out to someone, and they delete it without reading it! There have been three people I have contacted that have in no way gotten back to me. They were way out of my league (dj/model/some other profession that really beautiful people have), I am happy to admit that. You have to at least try.
Two days ago though I was contacted by one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in my life. I am in no way exaggerating. We shall call him stunning musician guy. What is it about musicians that I like so much? When I look at his picture I become Pavlov’s dog (without the bell). I was pretty sure initially that he was just trying to promote his music career. His songs are really good by the way! I don’t appreciate the “look me up on MySpace” “fan me on facebook” stuff. He assured me that wasn’t the case, but I’m not completely convinced. I talked to him on a newly created screen name just for the purpose of talking to the on-line guys. I talked to him for a bit, and he wants me to call him. This has sketchy written all over it. My friend, whom I am calling Sally for blog purposes, is coming over tomorrow. I might call him from a blocked-number phone just for mine and Sally’s amusement. Complete downside – he has a 3 year old son. I know, that’s one of my rules. If you saw this guy’s picture though… I’m sure his middle name is something along the lines of trouble.
-SJ
I said I would talk about the guys who I actually responded back to. It’s been few and far between. The first guy messaged me at the same time I sent him a message. He was a drummer in a band that didn’t have a name. He worked at a pharmacy. He didn’t have a college degree, which I usually consider pretty important. He sent me about six messages. It turned out he at one point lived right down the block from where I used to live. That was kind of a coincidence. He suggested we take a two hour road trip. That’s where things went wrong. I didn’t even have enough information to look him up in the circuit court system, there was no way I was being voluntarily kidnapped. Can you be voluntarily kidnapped? He told me twice in a row how attractive I apparently am. I had enough when he said “you’re so cute, I just want to hug you”. He didn’t want to hug me. He told me how passionate he is between the sheets. Our delightful conversation ended shortly after. Thank you creepy pharmacy worker for the memories!
This next guy I thought would be a real possibility. He told me about his family, where he works, his past relationships (believe me, I was shocked by this too), and a lot of other things. Fifteen e-mails! I became his friendly pen pal. I was added as his favorite. One day I decided to add him as mine. I asked if he had Skype. That’s when he stopped contacting me. I sent him a final message saying I enjoyed talking with him, etc. He wrote back within five minutes apologizing like crazy for not sending me anything. He promised he would write the next day. That was a week ago. He wasn’t hit by a bus considering he still signs on the website. I’m still bummed by this one. I feel like I wasted a lot of time. That’s a definite negative to this whole process.
I’ve only talked to a few others. I talked to a guy who takes pictures from an airplane. He really liked the outdoors. I found it amusing talking to him as I hate flying, and the outdoors and I do not mix. I couldn’t even pretend. I talked to a guy for a day who really likes trees. I’ve talked to the super-into-sports people here or there. I pretend I know something. I will state that I enjoy basketball and tennis quite a bit. I really like going to basketball games. I fill out a March Madness bracket every year, and I do very well. I’ve been to a hockey game. I’m just never going to obsessively love sports. It’s just not in me. I will never agree to watch soccer…ever. Beyond all of the sports and outdoors people, I recently have been talking to a TV producer. He seems nice. He has a dog. I’m still really mixed on this one.
I infrequently send messages out to other guys. I feel it is better if they contact me, then I at least know they are interested. Nothing is more horrible than sending a message out to someone, and they delete it without reading it! There have been three people I have contacted that have in no way gotten back to me. They were way out of my league (dj/model/some other profession that really beautiful people have), I am happy to admit that. You have to at least try.
Two days ago though I was contacted by one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in my life. I am in no way exaggerating. We shall call him stunning musician guy. What is it about musicians that I like so much? When I look at his picture I become Pavlov’s dog (without the bell). I was pretty sure initially that he was just trying to promote his music career. His songs are really good by the way! I don’t appreciate the “look me up on MySpace” “fan me on facebook” stuff. He assured me that wasn’t the case, but I’m not completely convinced. I talked to him on a newly created screen name just for the purpose of talking to the on-line guys. I talked to him for a bit, and he wants me to call him. This has sketchy written all over it. My friend, whom I am calling Sally for blog purposes, is coming over tomorrow. I might call him from a blocked-number phone just for mine and Sally’s amusement. Complete downside – he has a 3 year old son. I know, that’s one of my rules. If you saw this guy’s picture though… I’m sure his middle name is something along the lines of trouble.
-SJ
I'm not a leprechaun!
There are two very important steps that cannot be neglected in the on-line dating process. The first is to establish a profile that is informative to the potential reader. The profile has to be set-up so the person looking at it will be interested. I have concerns about the profile. Do people really look like their pictures? I have come to realize I place a lot of importance on the tone of someone's voice. You don't get this by looking at an on-line profile. I think it would be great if you could leave a voice message on your profile. I doubt that will be the next development.
I've been told by guys who have contacted me that my profile is very straight-forward and detailed. That was my intention. I have five recent pictures up. Enough to give a good idea of what I look like. I feel like five is a good number. Any more could give off the vibe that I am too into myself. I list my hobbies, favorite bands, favorite books, and favorite movies.
These guys need a lot more advice on how to set up their profiles. Reading these profiles is now one of my favorite hobbies. Let's begin with pictures. If you are now single, why are you posting photos with your ex? Even worse are the photos where they have placed a black circle over their ex's face. I don't understand this! A guy sent me a message, and on his profile he said he was looking for an "all amaricin girl". I don't live in Amarici! Amarici is a location I could not place on a map. One guy's profile consisted of the following "blah, blah, blah, blah". Way to be enthusiastic! Can you remind me why I would want to date you?
Other funny profile listings which are not getting these guys dates.:
"I really like guns."
"I'm tired of fake sass pitches" (Ok it didn't say sass pitches, but I don't curse.)
"Why are all women skanks and whores?"
"I'm looking for a girl with low standards."
I can't think of anymore at this moment. 3 pm isn't my best time for functioning, but trust me there are a wealth of other great profiles.
The first message you send someone is huge. You have to capture the other person's interest. You clearly want them to write back. I never know what to put in the subject line. I try to come up with something creative, but sometimes the subject ends up being "hi". My approach thus far has been to mention a few things from the person's profile to let them know I read their profile. Then I ask some generic questions just to get to know them. I don't know why I get the strangest first messages from people.
Strange first messages:
"I really like leprechauns."
- I am not Irish. Not even a little bit. I have red hair, but really? I'm not a leprechaun!
"I really like werewolves."
- Like leprechauns, werewolves do not exist. Do you look like Taylor Lautner? That's the only werewolf I care about.
"You are really pale. I think it's totally cool you are really pale."
-How is it cool that I'm pale? I naturally do not have a high level of melanin. My pale skin is not a personal choice. This guy also listed one of his interests as being goths.
"I'm in a motel room in Las Vegas right now."
-You couldn't even afford a hotel? It had to be a motel? Also, who is sharing that motel with you?
"You are sexy."
-I have no intention of ever responding to a person that sends me this kind of message.
"Are you a model? If not, I can help you with your career."
-I can't even provide a response for this.
These are the funniest I've gotten so far. In the next post I'll talk about some of the guys who actually got responses back.
-SJ
I've been told by guys who have contacted me that my profile is very straight-forward and detailed. That was my intention. I have five recent pictures up. Enough to give a good idea of what I look like. I feel like five is a good number. Any more could give off the vibe that I am too into myself. I list my hobbies, favorite bands, favorite books, and favorite movies.
These guys need a lot more advice on how to set up their profiles. Reading these profiles is now one of my favorite hobbies. Let's begin with pictures. If you are now single, why are you posting photos with your ex? Even worse are the photos where they have placed a black circle over their ex's face. I don't understand this! A guy sent me a message, and on his profile he said he was looking for an "all amaricin girl". I don't live in Amarici! Amarici is a location I could not place on a map. One guy's profile consisted of the following "blah, blah, blah, blah". Way to be enthusiastic! Can you remind me why I would want to date you?
Other funny profile listings which are not getting these guys dates.:
"I really like guns."
"I'm tired of fake sass pitches" (Ok it didn't say sass pitches, but I don't curse.)
"Why are all women skanks and whores?"
"I'm looking for a girl with low standards."
I can't think of anymore at this moment. 3 pm isn't my best time for functioning, but trust me there are a wealth of other great profiles.
The first message you send someone is huge. You have to capture the other person's interest. You clearly want them to write back. I never know what to put in the subject line. I try to come up with something creative, but sometimes the subject ends up being "hi". My approach thus far has been to mention a few things from the person's profile to let them know I read their profile. Then I ask some generic questions just to get to know them. I don't know why I get the strangest first messages from people.
Strange first messages:
"I really like leprechauns."
- I am not Irish. Not even a little bit. I have red hair, but really? I'm not a leprechaun!
"I really like werewolves."
- Like leprechauns, werewolves do not exist. Do you look like Taylor Lautner? That's the only werewolf I care about.
"You are really pale. I think it's totally cool you are really pale."
-How is it cool that I'm pale? I naturally do not have a high level of melanin. My pale skin is not a personal choice. This guy also listed one of his interests as being goths.
"I'm in a motel room in Las Vegas right now."
-You couldn't even afford a hotel? It had to be a motel? Also, who is sharing that motel with you?
"You are sexy."
-I have no intention of ever responding to a person that sends me this kind of message.
"Are you a model? If not, I can help you with your career."
-I can't even provide a response for this.
These are the funniest I've gotten so far. In the next post I'll talk about some of the guys who actually got responses back.
-SJ
When friends give you a dating how-to book for Christmas...
It's 12:30am. I should be asleep. I would be if I wasn't such an insomniac. Instead I am writing this blog about my complete and utter misfortunes when it comes to dating. Really, this blog is giving me an excuse to write. I'm a writer by nature, and I don't have ideas fully developed to write a screenplay.
You may wonder how this blog idea all began. I've never been a dating girl. It just hasn't happened. There's probably a laundry list of reasons as to why, but I'll point out a few specifics. I often like guys who do not like me. Wow, that was blunt enough. I'm generally cynical about the entire concept of love. I often don't let people into my little world. If you get past my super tall protective wall, then you can count yourself among the lucky few. I set goals for myself in life and reach them, and maybe this is intimidating. Also, I have some health issues. Not many guys want to hang out with their girlfriend who is attached to an IV pole receiving a transfusion. I have a pretty good sense of humor about my health though. I definitely am not unattractive although I could go to the gym more. I have red hair and pale skin which doesn't fall into the tall, blond, and tan category.
Now that I've listed what is not working in my favor, I'll get to why things should go better for me in the dating world. I'm kind of a guy's girl. I generally "get" guys. I have a good sense of humor. I'm interested in a lot of things. I'm confident and have a self-esteem. I'm mostly always smiling. I'm kind to others. People generally find me interesting. This seems like a pathetic "in my favor list". Clearly, part of the problem.
A few days after Christmas I met up with one of my friends. We'll call her Sally. Sally at the time was going to be meeting up with a recently discovered guy from a certain dating website. For years I have balked at these websites. This fine few days after Christmas I was presented with a dating book gift -and a gift card to Sephora which I purchased red lipstick with. We went back to my house where she showed me the dating website. That's when she signed me up. Oh dear.
I knew from the beginning this would not go well. Did you hear that sound? It was the sound of my open mind closing. I don't understand the world of on-line dating. I've browsed the help articles, but they seem about as useful as dating articles filled with all sorts of wrong advice. I will take you through this on-line journey with me. It will not be a smooth journey. You've been warned.
In the past I have had pretty much three checks to my "I'm interested in you" list. These are blue/green eyes, brown hair, and a musician. This had to be expanded upon for on-line dating. In person you can tell someone's personality immediately, but that's not the case on-line. In general, I appreciate sane people. It's also good if they like their mom. I've found if guys dislike their mom, they are not someone I want to spend time with. I like people who are sarcastic. The expanded upon version is as follows.
In the on-line dating world, I will not respond to a message by:
*Someone who does not have their shirt on in their main picture. I really, really, really don't care about your abs. Really!
*Anyone who tells me I'm "hot" "hott" or "hawt" in their initial message.
*Too many typos (I will expand on this in another post).
*Any guy who lists "cuddling" as one of their interests. One - they lie! Two - their "cuddle" does not mean cuddle.
*Guys with kids. I'm not ready to be a potential step-mom.
*Anyone over 30.
Other than that... it's fair game. What have I gotten myself into?
-SJ
You may wonder how this blog idea all began. I've never been a dating girl. It just hasn't happened. There's probably a laundry list of reasons as to why, but I'll point out a few specifics. I often like guys who do not like me. Wow, that was blunt enough. I'm generally cynical about the entire concept of love. I often don't let people into my little world. If you get past my super tall protective wall, then you can count yourself among the lucky few. I set goals for myself in life and reach them, and maybe this is intimidating. Also, I have some health issues. Not many guys want to hang out with their girlfriend who is attached to an IV pole receiving a transfusion. I have a pretty good sense of humor about my health though. I definitely am not unattractive although I could go to the gym more. I have red hair and pale skin which doesn't fall into the tall, blond, and tan category.
Now that I've listed what is not working in my favor, I'll get to why things should go better for me in the dating world. I'm kind of a guy's girl. I generally "get" guys. I have a good sense of humor. I'm interested in a lot of things. I'm confident and have a self-esteem. I'm mostly always smiling. I'm kind to others. People generally find me interesting. This seems like a pathetic "in my favor list". Clearly, part of the problem.
A few days after Christmas I met up with one of my friends. We'll call her Sally. Sally at the time was going to be meeting up with a recently discovered guy from a certain dating website. For years I have balked at these websites. This fine few days after Christmas I was presented with a dating book gift -and a gift card to Sephora which I purchased red lipstick with. We went back to my house where she showed me the dating website. That's when she signed me up. Oh dear.
I knew from the beginning this would not go well. Did you hear that sound? It was the sound of my open mind closing. I don't understand the world of on-line dating. I've browsed the help articles, but they seem about as useful as dating articles filled with all sorts of wrong advice. I will take you through this on-line journey with me. It will not be a smooth journey. You've been warned.
In the past I have had pretty much three checks to my "I'm interested in you" list. These are blue/green eyes, brown hair, and a musician. This had to be expanded upon for on-line dating. In person you can tell someone's personality immediately, but that's not the case on-line. In general, I appreciate sane people. It's also good if they like their mom. I've found if guys dislike their mom, they are not someone I want to spend time with. I like people who are sarcastic. The expanded upon version is as follows.
In the on-line dating world, I will not respond to a message by:
*Someone who does not have their shirt on in their main picture. I really, really, really don't care about your abs. Really!
*Anyone who tells me I'm "hot" "hott" or "hawt" in their initial message.
*Too many typos (I will expand on this in another post).
*Any guy who lists "cuddling" as one of their interests. One - they lie! Two - their "cuddle" does not mean cuddle.
*Guys with kids. I'm not ready to be a potential step-mom.
*Anyone over 30.
Other than that... it's fair game. What have I gotten myself into?
-SJ
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