I come from the school of peculiar and misguided.

Remember me? I’m the single one. Yeah, still single. I stopped the dating website for a while. I permanently shut down my account for the initial website I signed up for. That leaves one remaining. I was sent an e-mail from the website saying I am now among the top half most attractive users, and because of this I can now view more attractive users. Um, what? I feel that I've been jipped up until this point. There are definitely more attractive guys now, but it’s still been eh so far. I like people who are unique, and there’s a whole lot of same-ness. It’s like the Bachelorette where the guys all look alike. How can she tell them apart? There is one type of message I’m very tired of getting on the dating site. I got one today, and quote “you are definitely too smart and too good looking for me.” It’s sweet initially when these messages arrive, but after a while… I mean I’m still single. Is this a confidence boosting tactic? I feel there must be more to these messages. I can’t intimidate people this much. I mean, we’re talking about me here. If that’s what people think, am I destined for a life of solitude?

I’d like to mention an old favorite. Ok, not really a favorite, but he did make the blog. Remember the guy who works at the pharmacy? He wanted to potentially kidnap me. I’ve discovered he actually works at the pharmacy where I get my meds. This may seem like a small deal if you were not aware of how often I frequent the pharmacy – two to three times a week. He’s always there. The last time I came in he was definitely scanning my face, and I could sense a hint of recognition. Ooooh, awkward. I feel unsettled now that he knows my entire medication list, and my home address. That’s a lot of information there. I wonder if I’ve ever been recognized outside of the dating website.

Sally said that one of my quirks is that I have an outgoing and flirty personality. Truth be told, I don’t know how to flirt. She said that guys can’t tell whether I like them, or if I am just being my usual nice self. Here is how you know if I like you… I will become incapable of having a normal conversation. If you know me, you know that I could talk your ear off. I can’t control my chattiness. That is unless I find you attractive, and then I’m super nervous. I’ll jumble my words, there will be awkward pauses because I won’t know what to intelligently say, and I’ll talk about really dumb and safe topics. My junior year of college I had a conversation with a guy I liked. It started off with talking about politics. I got back to my dorm and could’ve kicked myself. Politics? Smooth going Sami. It was then I thought “hey, at least you didn’t talk about the weather.” My roommate peaked in the room when I said aloud “Oh no! I talked about the weather too.” Lame, I’m aware.

The other way that a guy can tell that I like him is that I start gifting. It’s a compulsion that I don’t know how to control. I have to prelude the next part with the fact that I went to middle school and high school with the same 60-ish people. That’s seven years of being around the same guys! When I got to college I immediately became fond of a particular guy. He worked at one of the dining halls. I made my parents drive me to campus an extra half hour before classes for the first two weeks of school so I could eat breakfast at the dining hall. It happened to be my second breakfast of the morning since I didn’t want to explain the scenario to my parents of why I wanted to be on campus so early. Hello freshman 15. Anyways, I stopped that once I actually got to know him. Hello treadmill. At that point the gifting began – I burned 13 CDs for him. He didn’t even ask for CDs. I just showed up at his door with a stack of CDs. May I mention that a few of those were great bands – Flaming Lips, a Queen mix CD, and Pedro the Lion. I was 16 so please give me a break. Other gifts to different guys during college – an iTunes card, more CDs, a Gap card, a box of really amazing tea, a Banana Republic t-shirt (my friend Kelly suggested boxers on that one – devil in my ear!), and chocolate. My friends get plenty of sweet loot too. I’m just a gift-giving kind of girl. I love to see other people happy. I also like imposing my musical preferences on others. Believe me, if at any point I start gifting know that something is up.

I’ll post soon about some of the guys I’ve been talking to recently. It would just be so much easier to skip the awkward website stuff. I’m tempted to just quit, and hope I either meet someone or that someone I know miraculously takes interest in me. It could happen. Right? By the way, I cut my hair kind of short. It was donated to help soak up oil in the recent oil spill. We can all find ways to help.

-SJ