Giving advice is an interesting concept to me. There are a lot of dating books out there that attempt to offer advice. If you select two books at random, I can guarantee they will offer conflicting views. I did pick up a great book recently though called “I Don’t Care About Your Band” by Julie Klausner. I liked the quote that said “a musician writing you a song is like a baker making you a cake. Aim higher.” Doesn’t that put things into perspective? However, I have to say that if I write you a song you should definitely feel relatively special. It takes a lot for me to be inspired.
Sally gives a whole new twist to advice. She sent me an article from CNN about on-line dating. It arrived straight to my facebook box in the form of a link. Sending a link is one thing, but there was a message attached. It said that she thought I’d like to read this, don’t be put off by the STD part. I could just write a question mark at this point to express what was going through my mind at the time. I pulled up the article and the headline was about a special on-line dating website for people with a chronic illness. About when to tell your new significant other about your health issues… that happens to be herpes. I was laughing entirely too much. This was the least applicable article ever. I sent her a message back asking at what point was I supposed to look past the STD part. If I ever write a dating book, Sally will write the foreword.
Sally told me she has a wedding to go to coming up soon. She was all excited until she realized she had no date for the wedding. Guess what? I have two weddings coming up this summer. Sally thinks that you can meet single guys at weddings, but from my experience it only occurs in movies. I’ve never taken anyone with me to a wedding. I hate weddings. I really do. You have to understand, I have a very large family and as a result I’ve been to a lot of weddings. Then your cousins start having kids, and a wedding becomes a small village. I like dancing, but eventually there is a bouquet toss which leads to some epic battles. My cousin, Veronica, was cut to the point of bleeding by a desperately vicious single lady with razor sharp claws who wanted that bouquet. There were strobe lights at the same time as the bouquet toss from the last wedding I was at. The last single lady not seizing gets married next! I recently discussed the following with my 23 year old cousin, Veronica (who is probably soon to be engaged – I’d put money on it).
Here are the following curmudgeon threats (in jest) I’ve made if I am to ever get married:
-I’m going to get married in Guam. People will have to pay large amounts of money if they want to attend, and it will generally inconvenience everyone. Does anyone notice the significant increase in destination weddings?
-I’m going to get married on Halloween. I mean, can you even imagine the ridiculousness of that?
-I don’t want to pay to feed all of the people that would inevitably be invited, so there would only be snacks. Oh, no free alcohol either.
In all seriousness I would never wear white because I’m really white, there would be limited people invited, and forget champagne because I want a latte in my hand at the reception. There would be cupcakes. I like cupcakes.
I never called Dino Dude, but I still have yet to tell you all about the social monogamist. I talked to him for a very long time on instant message. It was a two hour conversation. He lives in Chicago, and works at a university. He reminds me of one of my most favorite guy friends from college. I would never date him, but I found him interesting. There is a journal portion to the dating website, and he has it filled with his views on life. Basically social monogamy is that you would be dedicated to one person in every sense but the monogamy part that matters to pretty much most people. That’s at least from what I understand. If you want to know more about social monogamy, Google search it. He also lives his life to make himself happy. If a person was on a date with him and he wasn’t happy at some point during the date, he would end it on the spot. I make a conscious choice to be very happy, but he kind of takes being happy to a more selfish level rather than selfless. I’m not trying to be insulting, because he was perfectly sweet and kind while talking. He said he isn’t as impulsive as he makes it seem. Also, his profile said that he doesn’t pick up on the body language/social cues of dating. He said he wondered what would happen if we met because 1/3 of people fall in love two weeks following with someone else. That’s kind of bittersweet. I hope he finds what he is looking for eventually.
-SJ
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So Many Thoughts. Unfortunately, All At Once.
I’m back to the blog, and I don’t have any dates to show for it. This entry is completely reserved for random rumblings of mine. First of all, holy wow, I’m responsible for a love match! If you read in the comments below you will read that someone met their boyfriend of three months by signing up for on-line dating after they read my blog. They can take some of the credit, I’ll take most of it. I hope that’s ok. I wish you a really long time of happiness as long as I find a boyfriend eventually. I’m kidding.
The redhead stalkerazzi came out this week. There’s a fine line with these “you’re hot for a redhead” messages. Then there was “I always thought redheads couldn’t be attractive until I saw your picture”. Backhanded compliments I tell you! It would be different if someone said they had a thing for redheads. Is it ok to say “well, you’re really hot for being a Native American”? I would think not. Don’t discredit my fellow unnaturally pale comrades.
Things that really suck about having red hair:
-I went to Mexico, and a family friend purchased SPF 140 after I turned crispy with SPF 45 every 15 minutes. Do you also notice that the fashion magazines mock the celebs that wear summer clothing while still pale?
-Your eyebrows are really blonde to the point where they are invisible. I started having my eyebrows dyed in my tweens. I look back on pictures of me before eyebrow dye and shed a single tear for the existence of extended monochrome space between my eyelids and my forehead.
-Your eyelashes are the same blonde. Simply, you don’t look like you have eyelashes. This was never apparent to me until my Sophomore year of high school. The seventeen year old boy I liked turned to me and said…
Him: Have you ever thought of using mascara?
Me: No, why?
Him: You’d look better.
Me: My hair is red though. It will look strange if I have black eyelashes.
Him: You’ll look like you actually have eyelashes though. Black is better than what you already have.
I think you get the point. Don't get me wrong. I will never be a blonde or brunette. I like my hair color.
I talked to the med student again. The conversation was really terrible a second time. I never should’ve contacted him again. I should’ve waited for him to contact me. Instead I initiate a horribly lame conversation in which he reveals that he has a thing for Jews. I found that weird, but in my favor at the same time. Ok, ½ in my favor. I don’t think I’ll be talking to him again. I’m going to segue into another topic with the Jew thing. I talked to the one guy with the angry MySpace blog again. He is adopted, and his adoptive family is Jewish. He brought the topic up, and said how he has the “Jewish nose” and everything. This confused me… he’s adopted. I was being sarcastic when I said to one of my friends that “What did he come from Judaica Hillel Adoption Agency? Did his nose start growing when he heard Hebrew? Is there an adopt-a-Jew program?” Thank you google search, I guess there really is. Wow. My mistake. Oh well, I still think it’s funny.
I started talking to a guy this weekend who we shall entitle “Dinosaur Dude”. He speaks to me in dinosaur. If I were a paleontologist this could be a hugely attractive quality. However, since I’m not, it’s just weird. The guy is cute though. It's just a question of how much crazy can you put up with for the cute. He’s an artist, and works currently in the graphic arts sector. I think he is totally unemployed because he checked out my profile during the day today. His mom serves on the board of the rep and the art museum. There’s something weird about him though. It might be how he morphs my name into Samiceratops. I want to know how I have been selected to be a triceratops. I would’ve gone for a pterodactyl, but no one wanted my opinion on that one. He gave me his phone number, but when I reverse searched it the number came up as a home number for a 70-something couple. He claims it is his cell phone. I suppose I could call him. What would be the proper greeting - rawr or hello? Why do I have to call him? I’m terrible on the phone. Next thing I know he'll tell me he is married, and then I'll have to focus on not passing out again.
I told Sally I’m unsure about the artistic people grouping. I know I’m an artsy person and all, but I know too many others who have no further interest in having a steady job or life. They are fine living their in the clouds life without any kind of thoughts about how to pay for rent or food. Dino Dude wants to spend his life travelling about. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the business/lawyer/doctor people all seem to take life way too seriously. I either have to find an arts person who doesn’t want to spend their life starving, or a person with a steady/serious occupation who is not so serious all of the time.
I have so much more to tell you all about. In my next post I will tell you about the social monogamist (look it up in wikipedia). I will explain to you about my complete disdain for all things wedding related. Maybe I’ll tell you how a phone conversation with Dino Dude went if I decide to call him.
Peace and love.
-SJ
The redhead stalkerazzi came out this week. There’s a fine line with these “you’re hot for a redhead” messages. Then there was “I always thought redheads couldn’t be attractive until I saw your picture”. Backhanded compliments I tell you! It would be different if someone said they had a thing for redheads. Is it ok to say “well, you’re really hot for being a Native American”? I would think not. Don’t discredit my fellow unnaturally pale comrades.
Things that really suck about having red hair:
-I went to Mexico, and a family friend purchased SPF 140 after I turned crispy with SPF 45 every 15 minutes. Do you also notice that the fashion magazines mock the celebs that wear summer clothing while still pale?
-Your eyebrows are really blonde to the point where they are invisible. I started having my eyebrows dyed in my tweens. I look back on pictures of me before eyebrow dye and shed a single tear for the existence of extended monochrome space between my eyelids and my forehead.
-Your eyelashes are the same blonde. Simply, you don’t look like you have eyelashes. This was never apparent to me until my Sophomore year of high school. The seventeen year old boy I liked turned to me and said…
Him: Have you ever thought of using mascara?
Me: No, why?
Him: You’d look better.
Me: My hair is red though. It will look strange if I have black eyelashes.
Him: You’ll look like you actually have eyelashes though. Black is better than what you already have.
I think you get the point. Don't get me wrong. I will never be a blonde or brunette. I like my hair color.
I talked to the med student again. The conversation was really terrible a second time. I never should’ve contacted him again. I should’ve waited for him to contact me. Instead I initiate a horribly lame conversation in which he reveals that he has a thing for Jews. I found that weird, but in my favor at the same time. Ok, ½ in my favor. I don’t think I’ll be talking to him again. I’m going to segue into another topic with the Jew thing. I talked to the one guy with the angry MySpace blog again. He is adopted, and his adoptive family is Jewish. He brought the topic up, and said how he has the “Jewish nose” and everything. This confused me… he’s adopted. I was being sarcastic when I said to one of my friends that “What did he come from Judaica Hillel Adoption Agency? Did his nose start growing when he heard Hebrew? Is there an adopt-a-Jew program?” Thank you google search, I guess there really is. Wow. My mistake. Oh well, I still think it’s funny.
I started talking to a guy this weekend who we shall entitle “Dinosaur Dude”. He speaks to me in dinosaur. If I were a paleontologist this could be a hugely attractive quality. However, since I’m not, it’s just weird. The guy is cute though. It's just a question of how much crazy can you put up with for the cute. He’s an artist, and works currently in the graphic arts sector. I think he is totally unemployed because he checked out my profile during the day today. His mom serves on the board of the rep and the art museum. There’s something weird about him though. It might be how he morphs my name into Samiceratops. I want to know how I have been selected to be a triceratops. I would’ve gone for a pterodactyl, but no one wanted my opinion on that one. He gave me his phone number, but when I reverse searched it the number came up as a home number for a 70-something couple. He claims it is his cell phone. I suppose I could call him. What would be the proper greeting - rawr or hello? Why do I have to call him? I’m terrible on the phone. Next thing I know he'll tell me he is married, and then I'll have to focus on not passing out again.
I told Sally I’m unsure about the artistic people grouping. I know I’m an artsy person and all, but I know too many others who have no further interest in having a steady job or life. They are fine living their in the clouds life without any kind of thoughts about how to pay for rent or food. Dino Dude wants to spend his life travelling about. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the business/lawyer/doctor people all seem to take life way too seriously. I either have to find an arts person who doesn’t want to spend their life starving, or a person with a steady/serious occupation who is not so serious all of the time.
I have so much more to tell you all about. In my next post I will tell you about the social monogamist (look it up in wikipedia). I will explain to you about my complete disdain for all things wedding related. Maybe I’ll tell you how a phone conversation with Dino Dude went if I decide to call him.
Peace and love.
-SJ
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Swahili Speaking Medical Students Are So Common These Days.
Wow. I’ve found someone I actually really like on this internet dating mishegoss (that’s yiddish). I feel so silly even writing about this in general. I have a perma-smile on my face right now. It’s that good. So it all started when I saw an uploaded picture of this guy. Very cute. Definitely my type – brown hair and blue eyes. His profile hadn’t even been started yet. All I had was that he is 6’3 and lives in Chicago. He also had pictures from Africa. His smile just radiated off of the computer screen. I could tell that this was a good person.
I sent him the strangest message in the history of on-line dating. It went along the lines of how I liked his smile, and he looked like a nice person. I am not about sending messages to people with just pictures because it seems like you are only going by looks alone. How was I to know if he would even be anything of interest once I read an established profile. Then his profile was updated, and lo and behold, there is so much promise there. He likes to ride a bicycle and listens to Radiohead – two things that were on my “I like these kind of guys” paragraph a few posts back. He likes green and I like teal. They’re both in the same color family. Guess what… he’s in medical school!
I waited all day and heard nothing back. I should know not to be any kind of impatient. I mean really, I probably could’ve given him two weeks to respond to me. Medical school is crazy from what I hear. I sent him another insane message today. This time it comes in IM form. I sent a message apologizing for the all kinds of bizarre that was the e-mail I sent, and how I didn’t want to keep sending e-mails so I figured IM would be ok. It went straight to e-mail! It was like when you are in the middle of leaving a voice mail and the machine cuts you off before you can leave your number. Your only option is to call again explaining that the machine cut you off, and then by the time you finish explaining the machine cuts you off again. Ok, so I send ANOTHER message. I said how for what it was worth I wanted to tell him how much I liked Radiohead, and that I can usually diagnose at least one out of two patients weekly on Mystery Diagnosis before they come up with the diagnosis.
This is the point where he sends me back a message, thoroughly amused that a girl has gone to these lengths to get his attention. We had a fabulous conversation. He went to Africa to observe hospitals and do some volunteering with the HIV prevention efforts. I said that I’ve only been to Mexico which he really liked because he’s trying to learn Spanish. He was completely fascinated by me being a writer, and wanted to know the process of everything. We talked about a few more things, and then he said he had to go study. We ended the conversation in Spanish which was so cute. I was on the website for a bit longer. Apparently he re-signed in, and then he messaged me again. He wanted to let me know he was on-line again, and wanted to contact me while he quick changed his password. This is just too good. We’ll see…
Also lovelies... feel free to write a comment. It can be anonymous, and you do not need a special account to write a little something. I'd love advice and input. Please do not go out of your way to write anything hurtful. I do have feelings.
-SJ
I sent him the strangest message in the history of on-line dating. It went along the lines of how I liked his smile, and he looked like a nice person. I am not about sending messages to people with just pictures because it seems like you are only going by looks alone. How was I to know if he would even be anything of interest once I read an established profile. Then his profile was updated, and lo and behold, there is so much promise there. He likes to ride a bicycle and listens to Radiohead – two things that were on my “I like these kind of guys” paragraph a few posts back. He likes green and I like teal. They’re both in the same color family. Guess what… he’s in medical school!
I waited all day and heard nothing back. I should know not to be any kind of impatient. I mean really, I probably could’ve given him two weeks to respond to me. Medical school is crazy from what I hear. I sent him another insane message today. This time it comes in IM form. I sent a message apologizing for the all kinds of bizarre that was the e-mail I sent, and how I didn’t want to keep sending e-mails so I figured IM would be ok. It went straight to e-mail! It was like when you are in the middle of leaving a voice mail and the machine cuts you off before you can leave your number. Your only option is to call again explaining that the machine cut you off, and then by the time you finish explaining the machine cuts you off again. Ok, so I send ANOTHER message. I said how for what it was worth I wanted to tell him how much I liked Radiohead, and that I can usually diagnose at least one out of two patients weekly on Mystery Diagnosis before they come up with the diagnosis.
This is the point where he sends me back a message, thoroughly amused that a girl has gone to these lengths to get his attention. We had a fabulous conversation. He went to Africa to observe hospitals and do some volunteering with the HIV prevention efforts. I said that I’ve only been to Mexico which he really liked because he’s trying to learn Spanish. He was completely fascinated by me being a writer, and wanted to know the process of everything. We talked about a few more things, and then he said he had to go study. We ended the conversation in Spanish which was so cute. I was on the website for a bit longer. Apparently he re-signed in, and then he messaged me again. He wanted to let me know he was on-line again, and wanted to contact me while he quick changed his password. This is just too good. We’ll see…
Also lovelies... feel free to write a comment. It can be anonymous, and you do not need a special account to write a little something. I'd love advice and input. Please do not go out of your way to write anything hurtful. I do have feelings.
-SJ
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
True Story
I took an on-line quiz that said I was a unicorn. The following is a real life conversation on-line, and exhibit A as to why I'm single.
Him: hey Unicorn :)
Me: Yeah, unicorn, who knew.
Him: Nice
Him: and you love singing too?
Me: yes, absolutely
Him: same here
Me: specifics?
Him: seems like you are a musician
Me: yeah I am
Him: i like singing with my guitar
Me: I kind of do everything that is artsy except drawing/painting kind of stuff.
Me: I can't draw a straight line with a ruler - pretty helpless in that department.
Him: ha ha i see
Him: when did you sign up this site
Me: January I think
Me: not too long ago
Me: Haven't been on it too much though. It was my friend's idea of a Christmas present.
Him: you have a big smile, i love it
Me: oh, well thank you
Him: do you have kids
Me: do I have children?
Me: no, not at all
Me: why?
Him: just curious
Me: Do I look like someone who would?
Him: no, no you are very beautiful
Him: i am looking for someone who loves kids
Me: do you have kids?
Him: no
Me: I like kids. I have the most amazing niece.
Him: i wanna have kids with my partner
Me: yeah, most people do
Him: what about you
Him: you wanna have kids someday?
Me: yeah, someday
Him: i hate cheating, what about you
Me: um yeah, that's definitely not cool
Him: cool
Him: i prefer keeping my feeling inside sometime
Him: what about you
Me: I'm not a very emotive person
Him: i am unemotional
Me: Like a robot?
Him: i am Aquarius
Me: Pisces
Him: cool
Him: are you a happy person
Me: extremely happy
Me: you?
Him: yeah
Me: that must conflict with being unemotional though
Him: yeah i know
Him: hey Unicorn :)
Me: Yeah, unicorn, who knew.
Him: Nice
Him: and you love singing too?
Me: yes, absolutely
Him: same here
Me: specifics?
Him: seems like you are a musician
Me: yeah I am
Him: i like singing with my guitar
Me: I kind of do everything that is artsy except drawing/painting kind of stuff.
Me: I can't draw a straight line with a ruler - pretty helpless in that department.
Him: ha ha i see
Him: when did you sign up this site
Me: January I think
Me: not too long ago
Me: Haven't been on it too much though. It was my friend's idea of a Christmas present.
Him: you have a big smile, i love it
Me: oh, well thank you
Him: do you have kids
Me: do I have children?
Me: no, not at all
Me: why?
Him: just curious
Me: Do I look like someone who would?
Him: no, no you are very beautiful
Him: i am looking for someone who loves kids
Me: do you have kids?
Him: no
Me: I like kids. I have the most amazing niece.
Him: i wanna have kids with my partner
Me: yeah, most people do
Him: what about you
Him: you wanna have kids someday?
Me: yeah, someday
Him: i hate cheating, what about you
Me: um yeah, that's definitely not cool
Him: cool
Him: i prefer keeping my feeling inside sometime
Him: what about you
Me: I'm not a very emotive person
Him: i am unemotional
Me: Like a robot?
Him: i am Aquarius
Me: Pisces
Him: cool
Him: are you a happy person
Me: extremely happy
Me: you?
Him: yeah
Me: that must conflict with being unemotional though
Him: yeah i know
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
A Picture is Worth Lots of Words
I have stumbled upon an interesting new development. Pictures in an on-line dating profile can really make a difference. Ok, I did know that. I didn't, however, know that my on-line dating array of pictures was in all kinds of wrong land. I had nothing to do tonight. I’ve been sick for the last few days which explains my lack of Friday night plans (which is when I started writing this – hello procrastination). I went on one of the dating websites and decided to change things up a bit. I looked through my main profile, and I still have not found anything I need to or could really change. It’s the best possible summary of myself.
In my complete boredom, I changed all of my pictures. This happened after I rearranged my DVD collection by categories that make sense to me (Heath Ledger collection, sappy movies, movies about princesses, rom-coms that provide an unrealistic view on love and will traumatize you forever, Audrey Hepburn movies, etc). One of the pictures I put up is from my recent small birthday party. It’s a very current picture. I also have more pictures from when my hair is long versus short. My hair is kind of in-between right now. I cut a lot off last summer, so now I’m almost back to the length it is in the picture. Do men like longer hair better than shorter hair? By short I mean like chin-length. Also, one of my main pictures is of me singing. I think the music thing is a definite draw.
With these recent updates in mind I had twenty new people look at my page, and had five people send me messages in ten minutes. That's record timing. Anything promising? Unfortunately, no. I really must have needed to change pictures. I took my headshot down. Hey, I am an actress. I think the new pictures make me seem more approachable now.
As of last night I started talking to a 21 year old college student who is majoring in film. We were talking a lot about screenplay writing, and how you can get really great material from your dreams. It was an assignment in one of his classes. A lot of my great ideas happen at night right before I go to sleep, or while I’m getting ready in the morning. It is terrible because there’s never a pen and paper around at either time. Well, I did some investigating and found his MySpace. Blog after blog about how girls are trashy. “I went out with this skank in April and then I went out with this one whore in June.” Month after month of derogatory name calling of women. This blog extended back for 4 years, but he hadn’t posted in the last 8 months or so. I know he’s a youngin’, but I’m inclined to believe that a mindset like that doesn’t change so quickly.
Sally actually ditched the on-line dating. We need to find new ways of meeting people. I’m going to start searching for singles mixers, book clubs, etc. Something! She had two boyfriend situations since December which could fall into the "don't let this happen to you" category. I have a hunch on where Sally and I have things so very wrong. Sally and I have certain guys that have entered our lives at some point where nothing ever progressed into dating, or really anything beyond friends. In our search (I initially put “hunt” but that seemed so animalistic) for a guy, we have tried to find someone that matched up to that “never-more-than-friends-guy” as much as humanly possible. It just doesn’t cut it though. I wonder what it is about these certain guys that set the standard for us. I remember watching a news segment on how our brains already have a checklist, and that when we meet someone new our brains evaluate if they fit our programmed criteria. I wonder if I ever set the standard for someone else. I think it would be difficult to find a replica me. If anyone is out there trying to find a replica me, um, the real me is available. Just saying.
-SJ
In my complete boredom, I changed all of my pictures. This happened after I rearranged my DVD collection by categories that make sense to me (Heath Ledger collection, sappy movies, movies about princesses, rom-coms that provide an unrealistic view on love and will traumatize you forever, Audrey Hepburn movies, etc). One of the pictures I put up is from my recent small birthday party. It’s a very current picture. I also have more pictures from when my hair is long versus short. My hair is kind of in-between right now. I cut a lot off last summer, so now I’m almost back to the length it is in the picture. Do men like longer hair better than shorter hair? By short I mean like chin-length. Also, one of my main pictures is of me singing. I think the music thing is a definite draw.
With these recent updates in mind I had twenty new people look at my page, and had five people send me messages in ten minutes. That's record timing. Anything promising? Unfortunately, no. I really must have needed to change pictures. I took my headshot down. Hey, I am an actress. I think the new pictures make me seem more approachable now.
As of last night I started talking to a 21 year old college student who is majoring in film. We were talking a lot about screenplay writing, and how you can get really great material from your dreams. It was an assignment in one of his classes. A lot of my great ideas happen at night right before I go to sleep, or while I’m getting ready in the morning. It is terrible because there’s never a pen and paper around at either time. Well, I did some investigating and found his MySpace. Blog after blog about how girls are trashy. “I went out with this skank in April and then I went out with this one whore in June.” Month after month of derogatory name calling of women. This blog extended back for 4 years, but he hadn’t posted in the last 8 months or so. I know he’s a youngin’, but I’m inclined to believe that a mindset like that doesn’t change so quickly.
Sally actually ditched the on-line dating. We need to find new ways of meeting people. I’m going to start searching for singles mixers, book clubs, etc. Something! She had two boyfriend situations since December which could fall into the "don't let this happen to you" category. I have a hunch on where Sally and I have things so very wrong. Sally and I have certain guys that have entered our lives at some point where nothing ever progressed into dating, or really anything beyond friends. In our search (I initially put “hunt” but that seemed so animalistic) for a guy, we have tried to find someone that matched up to that “never-more-than-friends-guy” as much as humanly possible. It just doesn’t cut it though. I wonder what it is about these certain guys that set the standard for us. I remember watching a news segment on how our brains already have a checklist, and that when we meet someone new our brains evaluate if they fit our programmed criteria. I wonder if I ever set the standard for someone else. I think it would be difficult to find a replica me. If anyone is out there trying to find a replica me, um, the real me is available. Just saying.
-SJ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
