I'm a guppy trying to date in a sea of really confusing fish.

This blog has been on hold mostly because I stopped talking to people from the on-line dating websites. I felt in the end it was a big time waster. On-line dating, not the blog. No one really wants to meet in person. I think most people seem happy just talking until eternity through on-line dates. That isn’t really dating. Next thing you know, there will be virtual engagements and weddings. Sally seems to be doing well with the on-line dating. She is dating a guy who has a roommate that also happens to be on the dating website. He’s getting a masters in psych, which I find very interesting. She’s trying to set us up. I’ll go for it. Right now I’m not being picky. I could at least use dating experience.

I think part of the problem with on-line dating is people trying to be something they are not. The same thing happens with dating in general. As the relationship progresses, you slowly find that the person you started off dating is not the same person you seem to be dating now. I mean, we all want to put our best foot forward. I think there is a fine line between that, and assuming a persona different from who you really are. There are on-line dating profiles filled with information that really does not represent the person, but just sounds good to a potential dating prospect. Then there are the pictures that are from years prior. I’ve even seen a 25 year old have a prom picture. I don’t understand what they are trying to achieve by this.

I think the same thing carries over into real life (as in not on-line) dating. Someday when I go out with someone, I want them to be themselves. Literally. I’ve gotten sucked into reading dating advice books and websites, and I think they generally give terrible advice. I do believe that body language can provide a good clue as to whether someone likes you or not. In general though they are giving terrible advice to women. I’ve come to this conclusion because they are giving equally terrible advice to men. One website was saying that women like when men are kind of snarky and mean to them. Basically if you ignore a woman it will make them want you more. It also said that this is to be done especially to very pretty women as they need to get knocked off of their pedestals. I know plenty of women who are very beautiful, and do not have a clue they are attractive. I can guarantee that acting like this will not only ruin the guy’s chances, but also lower the woman's self-esteem. I get irritated because I find any form of game playing ridiculous. Another website was telling guys that they need to find a woman that is below their caliber in social status because women want men to be superior to them and not their equal.

If you are reading this and are interested in me (who reads this anyways that wants to date me?), do not follow this advice. I think I’m kind of a peculiar kind of girl. I want to go on a date and have the guy be one hundred percent himself. I get easily intimidated when I find someone attractive. I appreciate "flaws" because then I know you are actually human. Please do not act in a way you most likely would not behave. I don’t want to find out a month later that you are completely different. If you tend to go for a week sometimes without shaving, and you happen to be on day three of that “no-shave” roll… don’t shave just for the date. I’d find it more attractive that you felt comfortable enough to be yourself around me. I don’t believe in topic taboos. It’s just too much to think about. “Ooops, I can’t talk about that subject until the third date.” I find that bizarre. There’s only so much time that can be spent talking about favorite movies and music. Another really confusing concept is if you are chatting for a while with a guy at a bar. When he goes to buy himself a drink, but then doesn’t buy you one does that mean he doesn’t like you? Who decided upon these social rules and rituals anyways? They are confusing, and I don’t like them. I spend way too much time thinking about this stuff.

I’m socially flawed if you didn’t know. I’m not one of those women who need constant attention. I’m not one of those twirling the hair and batting the eyelashes women who casually touches a guy’s arm during a conversation. I don’t know how to be that woman. It’s not how I’m accustomed to interacting with other people, and it probably wouldn’t come across as natural if I somehow remembered to behave that way. My other big problem is that I have vast knowledge on a lot of different topics. I love to read, and I love to research really random things for fun. I like learning. If someone gets me started talking about one of these random topics I like, I switch into encyclopedia mode. My brain makes a shift to start rattling off information. I’ll stop myself at times and think “what the heck am I doing”. It is borderline embarrassing. Basically the main problem is I want a boyfriend/friend. Friends understand that their friends have quirks and find those quirks endearing. I think that’s where college dating is so much easier because a friendship can evolve into a relationship. That seems to be much more difficult to accomplish in the adult world. I want a friend who I find completely attractive and who I am totally comfortable being myself around to just up and realize one day that they are head over heels for me. This unfortunately does not exist in my world. I’ll just have to figure out how to go about dating like everyone else.

I am now 22 (happy birthday to me), and I am still very much single. By the way - I went to a wedding, again, by myself. I'm pretty much the only single one left in my age group. At least when I do get into a relationship I completely know who I am, what my goals are, and what I want out of life. That has to be a positive thing.

-SJ