Did anyone hear a bell ring?

There are things I don’t completely understand in life. One of those things is how a guy can look so attractive, and then have such a terrible occupation as self-employed snow shoveler. It’s completely disappointing to come across profiles like this. I also don’t understand the over usage of a comma. Commas are not periods, they are commas. They are also not meant to randomly interrupt sentences. Why,,,,, do people.,,, write sentences like this,,,,?

I said I would talk about the guys who I actually responded back to. It’s been few and far between. The first guy messaged me at the same time I sent him a message. He was a drummer in a band that didn’t have a name. He worked at a pharmacy. He didn’t have a college degree, which I usually consider pretty important. He sent me about six messages. It turned out he at one point lived right down the block from where I used to live. That was kind of a coincidence. He suggested we take a two hour road trip. That’s where things went wrong. I didn’t even have enough information to look him up in the circuit court system, there was no way I was being voluntarily kidnapped. Can you be voluntarily kidnapped? He told me twice in a row how attractive I apparently am. I had enough when he said “you’re so cute, I just want to hug you”. He didn’t want to hug me. He told me how passionate he is between the sheets. Our delightful conversation ended shortly after. Thank you creepy pharmacy worker for the memories!

This next guy I thought would be a real possibility. He told me about his family, where he works, his past relationships (believe me, I was shocked by this too), and a lot of other things. Fifteen e-mails! I became his friendly pen pal. I was added as his favorite. One day I decided to add him as mine. I asked if he had Skype. That’s when he stopped contacting me. I sent him a final message saying I enjoyed talking with him, etc. He wrote back within five minutes apologizing like crazy for not sending me anything. He promised he would write the next day. That was a week ago. He wasn’t hit by a bus considering he still signs on the website. I’m still bummed by this one. I feel like I wasted a lot of time. That’s a definite negative to this whole process.

I’ve only talked to a few others. I talked to a guy who takes pictures from an airplane. He really liked the outdoors. I found it amusing talking to him as I hate flying, and the outdoors and I do not mix. I couldn’t even pretend. I talked to a guy for a day who really likes trees. I’ve talked to the super-into-sports people here or there. I pretend I know something. I will state that I enjoy basketball and tennis quite a bit. I really like going to basketball games. I fill out a March Madness bracket every year, and I do very well. I’ve been to a hockey game. I’m just never going to obsessively love sports. It’s just not in me. I will never agree to watch soccer…ever. Beyond all of the sports and outdoors people, I recently have been talking to a TV producer. He seems nice. He has a dog. I’m still really mixed on this one.

I infrequently send messages out to other guys. I feel it is better if they contact me, then I at least know they are interested. Nothing is more horrible than sending a message out to someone, and they delete it without reading it! There have been three people I have contacted that have in no way gotten back to me. They were way out of my league (dj/model/some other profession that really beautiful people have), I am happy to admit that. You have to at least try.

Two days ago though I was contacted by one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in my life. I am in no way exaggerating. We shall call him stunning musician guy. What is it about musicians that I like so much? When I look at his picture I become Pavlov’s dog (without the bell). I was pretty sure initially that he was just trying to promote his music career. His songs are really good by the way! I don’t appreciate the “look me up on MySpace” “fan me on facebook” stuff. He assured me that wasn’t the case, but I’m not completely convinced. I talked to him on a newly created screen name just for the purpose of talking to the on-line guys. I talked to him for a bit, and he wants me to call him. This has sketchy written all over it. My friend, whom I am calling Sally for blog purposes, is coming over tomorrow. I might call him from a blocked-number phone just for mine and Sally’s amusement. Complete downside – he has a 3 year old son. I know, that’s one of my rules. If you saw this guy’s picture though… I’m sure his middle name is something along the lines of trouble.

-SJ