I got my teeth!

This is the post of a severely sleep deprived person. Getting four hours of sleep a night does not allow me to be creative. It just leaves me tired. However, it does allow me more time to read through random people’s profiles and to read the messages I’ve been sent. I would say I get about five to ten new messages a day. That seems about reasonable. The website claims that there are some people (less than .01%) who receive up to 100 messages. It’s kind of a disclaimer in case someone doesn’t respond back to you because clearly they are so overwhelmingly popular. Let us get in line fellow minions! I think it just makes all dating website users feel completely inadequate. Who gets 100 messages a day?

I got in over my head on a recent message. I thought I was being funny and sent this guy a message saying that Duke was infinitely better than UNC. Now he wants to discuss the players, coaches, team histories, and I’ve got nothing. Note to self – don’t bring up sports ever! In the mean time, I lost stunning musician guy’s phone number. Now I have to ask for his number if I see him on-line. Oh complications!

I came across a gold mine of funny profiles during the day. That seems to be when all of the super strange guys go looking for a girl. Hair seemed to be a common theme. I always have a constant struggle with my hair. It’s completely unruly. However, I am not bald which apparently is a big disqualifier for this one guy. He also wants a girl with a full or close to full set of teeth. Another guy states that he wants to date a girl with heavy bangs and a medium high pony tail. That’s not asking for too much is it? Alas, we cannot all be Zooey Deschanel (or be married to the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie). My favorite of the day is a guy who said “I don’t like girls who are going to fake cry at their best friend’s birthday party for attention, but I want someone immature enough to like talking about the apocalypse.” I can’t make this stuff up people.

While on a dating website, what happens if you see someone you know? Many people would probably not acknowledge the other person being on the website. You didn’t see me, you don’t know me, or something else along those lines. Not me, I send them a message! I have found three people already that I know on this site. I have no intention of dating them, but how can I not send a friendly message?

The first person I found was my former neighbor. He moved away about a month ago in an apparent bad break-up with his live-in girlfriend. He moved out and she moved to California. Yeah, ouch. I know he has chronic health issues, and I wanted to send a message to see how he was doing. I’m pretty sure he thought I was joking in the initial message, but who uses a pick-up line “you used to be my neighbor”? I think he realized after the second message that I wasn’t kidding. The second person was a guy whose name sounded familiar. It turns out that I was in a pageant with his sister when I was little. The third person was the most bizarre. I saw a picture I thought looked familiar. Sure enough, it was my best friend’s older brother. I can now say that not all women in the pictures with the profiled guy are of his ex. My best friend’s brother had a picture with only one girl in his profile, and that girl was me. I now wonder how many other people are unaware that they are in pictures on a dating site.

-SJ